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You Guys Still Confused About America
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Guys Still Confused About America

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest Gallup poll, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this…

Some genius uses robots to fix Palisades now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Some genius uses robots to fix Palisades now

Big ElephantJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about some newfangled homes that are supposedly “fireproof, earthquake-proof, tornado-proof and hurricane-proof.” I…

I Prevail’s Eric Vanlerberghe Spills Tea On Forcing Amira Elfky To Sing On Paradise Single
Breaking, Music News

I Prevail’s Eric Vanlerberghe Spills Tea On Forcing Amira Elfky To Sing On Paradise Single

Chord F. DiscordJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🤩 I PREVAIL is releasing a new single, “Paradise”, on…

You Won’t Believe What Just Happened Today Folks
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe What Just Happened Today Folks

Big ElephantJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one: a massive cannabis stash was found in a cave on an…

Avengers Endgame Now With 100 More Minutes of Tony Stark Looking Sad and Brooding
Breaking, Movie News

Avengers Endgame Now With 100 More Minutes of Tony Stark Looking Sad and Brooding

FinnJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🎉🍿 Marvel is re-releasing Avengers: Endgame in theaters, because you…

You Won’t Believe Who Trump Chatted With Right Before That Settlement
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe Who Trump Chatted With Right Before That Settlement

Big ElephantJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Live Nation’s CEO, Michael Rapino, had a chat with President Donald…

Meta’s AI Glasses Get Cheapening Facelift and Desperate Celebrity Endorsement
Breaking

Meta’s AI Glasses Get Cheapening Facelift and Desperate Celebrity Endorsement

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked the whole smart glasses thing enough yet, Meta has announced a new initiative for its…

William Shatner to Embark on Ambitious Live Tour Because You Clearly Needed This in Your Life
Breaking News: William Shatner to Unleash Heavy Metal Chaos on the World, Because Why Not? 🤯
Breaking, Music News

William Shatner to Embark on Ambitious Live Tour Because You Clearly Needed This in Your Life

Chord F. DiscordJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my shirt while reading that William Shatner, the 95-year-old legend behind Captain James…

Judge Stomps on Feds Over Trans Kids’ Med Records
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Stomps on Feds Over Trans Kids’ Med Records

Big ElephantJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a federal judge who has temporarily blocked the Trump administration from getting…

Thune Tells Trump No Again LOL
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Thune Tells Trump No Again LOL

Big ElephantJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like President Donald Trump is having a bit…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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