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Foo Fighters FINALLY Find a Drummer (No Thanks to Dave Grohl’s Midlife Crisis)
Breaking, Music News

Foo Fighters FINALLY Find a Drummer (No Thanks to Dave Grohl’s Midlife Crisis)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. FOO FIGHTERS, the band that DEFINITELY needed another drummer (said no one ever 🙄), apparently played their…

CANDLEMASS Reunites With MESSIAH MARCOLIN After Two Decades Of Him Probably Just Forgetting The Way To The Stage
Breaking, Music News

CANDLEMASS Reunites With MESSIAH MARCOLIN After Two Decades Of Him Probably Just Forgetting The Way To The Stage

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE it! CANDLEMASS, those doom metal dinosaurs 🦖, actually managed to wheel out their *former* (and…

FOZZY Dumps “Crazy Train” Cover, Proving Even Ozzy Can Be Butchered
Breaking, Music News

FOZZY Dumps “Crazy Train” Cover, Proving Even Ozzy Can Be Butchered

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

FOZZY, the musical masterpiece brought to you by wrestling extraordinaire Chris Jericho and the guitar god 🎸 of STUCK MOJO,…

Behold! Air Raid Siren Bruce Dickinson Serenades Captive Audience with Off-Key Renditions After Technology Betrays Him
Events, Music News

Behold! Air Raid Siren Bruce Dickinson Serenades Captive Audience with Off-Key Renditions After Technology Betrays Him

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

OMG! Bruce Dickinson, the legendary throat-warbler from IRON MAIDEN, apparently tried to bless Pittsburgh with his solo “genius” last night…

OMG! Is America’s Economy About to Implode?! (Says Some Data Point)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Is America’s Economy About to Implode?! (Says Some Data Point)

Big ElephantSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the liberal media to undermine our GREAT President Trump! CNN is at it again, folks,…

‘The Witcher’ Season 4: Henry Cavill’s Replacement Finally Gets a Premiere Date (Good Luck With That)
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Witcher’ Season 4: Henry Cavill’s Replacement Finally Gets a Premiere Date (Good Luck With That)

FinnSeptember 13, 2025September 13, 2025

When The Witcher returns for its fourth season, things will look a little…dumber? 🤪 Most fundamentally, there’s a new Geralt of Rivia,…

Lance Gross’ Ultimate Day Party: Smoke Cigars and Stare at a Dude
Events

Lance Gross’ Ultimate Day Party: Smoke Cigars and Stare at a Dude

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 13, 2025

OMG! Cigars & Stars Day Party with Lance Gross! 🙄💨 As if that’s not enough, DJ Charlie Chan will be…

Marvel Fans Assemble in the Press Room (Probably Disappointed)
Events

Marvel Fans Assemble in the Press Room (Probably Disappointed)

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 13, 2025

**Nerds unite!** 🤣 Visit The Press Room at Alamo Drafthouse Lower Manhattan and dive into the All-New, All Different d616…

Who Cares Where It Matters
Events

Who Cares Where It Matters

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 13, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Another zombie flick! 🧟‍♀️ A mom named Julie & a priest named Chris trapped in a gas station…

Another mind-numbing movie in Akron
Events

Another mind-numbing movie in Akron

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 13, 2025

😂🤣Bring your grandma to watch the **Akron Stories Screening** on September 14, 2025, 1:00 PM – 3:00 PM at Highland…

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Latest posts

  • Newsom Raises State Income Tax To 110 Percent
  • Loser Britain still whining about their brilliant Brexit decision
  • Colombia foolishly elects Trump’s guy in ridiculously close vote obviously
  • RINO Alan Greenspan finally kicks the bucket at 100
  • Study Contends Free Will Disproven By Fact That Humans Repeatedly Eat At Jimmy John’s

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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