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Jerry Nadler, bless his heart, FINALLY realizes he’s been in Congress since the Stone Age and decides to grace us with his absence
Elephant Reads CNN

Jerry Nadler, bless his heart, FINALLY realizes he’s been in Congress since the Stone Age and decides to grace us with his absence

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

The swamp is draining itself, folks! Jerry Nadler, another Deep State operative, is calling it quits! After decades of pushing…

CNN: Trump’s October Surprise – Will Democrats Ever Find Their Way Out of the Woods
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s October Surprise – Will Democrats Ever Find Their Way Out of the Woods

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another leftist media meltdown over our glorious President Trump! CNN is hyperventilating about Trump supposedly “flexing…

Hong Kong’s Crypto Dreams: So Close, Yet Hilariously Far Away
Elephant Reads CNN

Hong Kong’s Crypto Dreams: So Close, Yet Hilariously Far Away

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Hong Kong is embracing cryptocurrency, and you won’t believe who showed up at the Bitcoin Asia summit: none other than…

Guatemalan Kids Throw Epic Tantrum, Judge Caves
Elephant Reads CNN

Guatemalan Kids Throw Epic Tantrum, Judge Caves

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

Another day, another activist judge siding with the Open Borders Lobby! These Guatemalan children, probably coached by Soros-funded NGOs, are…

Nestle CEO Gets Fired For Being Naughty, Shocking Absolutely No One
Elephant Reads CNN

Nestle CEO Gets Fired For Being Naughty, Shocking Absolutely No One

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

Another Deep State operative bites the dust! Nestle CEO Laurent Freixe, ousted for a “romantic relationship” – sure, that’s the…

“The Last Vendetta”: Another Sequel Nobody Asked For
Events

“The Last Vendetta”: Another Sequel Nobody Asked For

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 1, 2025

🎬 Last Vendetta film release party! 📍Solas NYC, East 9th Street, Manhattan, Friday, September 6th, 2025, 6:00 PM – 8:00…

Roni Shanell: The Untold Saga of a Name
Events

Roni Shanell: The Untold Saga of a Name

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 1, 2025

**OMG! Roni Shanell, from Detroit, MI, started comedy in 2015 and opened for Martin Lawrence’s “Y’all Know What it is…

Oops! Looks Like Some College Kids Got a Case of the ‘Active Shooter’ Prank Call Blues
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Looks Like Some College Kids Got a Case of the ‘Active Shooter’ Prank Call Blues

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

More than a dozen colleges hit by “swatting” hoaxes! Obviously, this is just another Deep State plot to make Trump’s…

Trump’s Data Grab: Gotta Snatch ‘Em All, Even Your Grandma’s Digits
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Data Grab: Gotta Snatch ‘Em All, Even Your Grandma’s Digits

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The Deep State Democrats are whining because President Trump’s DOJ wants to ensure our elections…

Wim Wenders’ new snooze-fest starring Tom Waits, Cate Blanchett, and Adam Driver – Get ready to contemplate your navel
Breaking, Movie News

Wim Wenders’ new snooze-fest starring Tom Waits, Cate Blanchett, and Adam Driver – Get ready to contemplate your navel

FinnSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

Oh, joy! 🎉 Another cinematic masterpiece by the one and only Jim Jarmusch, featuring a cast so star-studded it makes…

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Latest posts

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  • Amazon Abruptly Cancels Movie About Sam Altman Because Let’s Be Real Who Cares About Some Guy and His AI Company Anyway
  • Gang of Dragon Still NOT Dead Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs Founders Anyway Nagoshi Studio Is Totally Fine Without Them

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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