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Lynley: Old Characters, Newer Mysteries (As If We Needed More) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Lynley: Old Characters, Newer Mysteries (As If We Needed More) | CNN

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

Hollywood is at it again, folks! This time, they’re pushing some “new” mystery show called ‘Lynley’ with actors Leo Suter…

SNOT Aims to Drop New Full-Length Album in 2026: Because Apparently, the World Needs More ‘Funky Punk Attitude’
Breaking, Music News

SNOT Aims to Drop New Full-Length Album in 2026: Because Apparently, the World Needs More ‘Funky Punk Attitude’

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Ore Bihovsky from TotalRock’s riveting “Louder” radio show, SNOT guitarist and resident genius Mikey Doling…

D’LAI? More Like D’LAYED, Am I Right?
Events

D’LAI? More Like D’LAYED, Am I Right?

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 1, 2025

**D’Lai, the comedic messiah, is gracing Norwood Theatre!** 🎤😂 He conquered HBO’s Def Comedy Jam, BET’s ComicView, Iraq, Afghanistan, Korea,…

Adam Berry’s Ghostly Get-Together: Prepare to be Mildly Spooked (and Fleeced)
Events

Adam Berry’s Ghostly Get-Together: Prepare to be Mildly Spooked (and Fleeced)

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 1, 2025

👻🤡 Adam Berry’s back! Prepare for spine-tingling tales! Or not. It’s called This Haunted Life: True Tales of the Paranormal…

Indy Film Fest: A Bunch of Suits Pretending to Like Movies You’ve Never Heard Of
Events

Indy Film Fest: A Bunch of Suits Pretending to Like Movies You’ve Never Heard Of

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 1, 2025

**OMG! 🤩 Indy Bosses Gala Premiere at Sheraton Indianapolis Hotel at Keystone Crossing! 🏨 Be there or be square! 🤪…

Shark Attack! (Just Kidding…Probably) – Volente Beach
Events

Shark Attack! (Just Kidding…Probably) – Volente Beach

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 1, 2025

🤣 JAWS on the Water! 🦈 Volente Beach Resort & Waterpark presents the 50th Anniversary! One. Last. Scare. 🙄 Float…

US Says “No Vacancy” to Palestinian Passport Holders: A Diplomatic Face Palm
Elephant Reads CNN

US Says “No Vacancy” to Palestinian Passport Holders: A Diplomatic Face Palm

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

Another day, another victory for common sense and border security, folks! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is cracking down…

Burning Man Goes Up In Smoke: Man Bites The Dust In Nevada
Elephant Reads CNN

Burning Man Goes Up In Smoke: Man Bites The Dust In Nevada

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

Burning Man, more like Burning Down America! Another victim of the liberal cesspool in Nevada. A man found dead? Probably…

Jaws vs Aquaman: Dawn of Drowning
Events

Jaws vs Aquaman: Dawn of Drowning

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 31, 2025

Gates open by 7:00 PM. Shows start around 8:00 PM (sunset-dependent, duh 🙄). QR code ready or GTFO! 🎫 Print…

Alabama Town’s Black Mayor Kicks Down Door, Wins Election (Again) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Alabama Town’s Black Mayor Kicks Down Door, Wins Election (Again) | CNN

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Ah, yes, another victory for the woke mob in tiny Newbern, Alabama! Seems like the Deep State’s plan to infiltrate…

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Latest posts

  • Amazon Abruptly Cancels Movie About Sam Altman Because Let’s Be Real Who Cares About Some Guy and His AI Company Anyway
  • Gang of Dragon Still NOT Dead Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs Founders Anyway Nagoshi Studio Is Totally Fine Without Them
  • Breaking News: Fallout Season 3 Just Became 1000% More Interesting Because They Added Some Guy from That One Show Your Nephew Watches Manny Jacinto
  • BEARTOOTH Finally Decides to Release Actual Bulls*** From Their Super Original and Not at All Overhyped ‘Pure Ecstasy’ Album That Will Definitely Change the Face of Music Forever
  • SKUNK ANANSIE Still Trying to be Relevant Releases Super Original Not at All a Cry for Help New Take On ‘Meltdown’ With ‘Blackhill Remix’ That You’ll Definitely Listen to More Than Once

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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