Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: It

SABATON’s Got a Bridge, Get Over It
Breaking, Events, Music News

SABATON’s Got a Bridge, Get Over It

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, glorious day! The Swedish Eurovision rejects, SABATON, are gracing Europe with their presence in November 2025 for a “20-city…

Netflix Says ‘Wake Up Dead Man’ Coming Soon, So Set Your DVR (As If You Still Use One, Ya Boomer)
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Says ‘Wake Up Dead Man’ Coming Soon, So Set Your DVR (As If You Still Use One, Ya Boomer)

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Labor Day is OVER, folks! 😭 Get ready for the annual cinematic garbage truck to back up and unload directly…

Helldivers 2: Still Buggy, But Now With MORE Bugs and Planets to Liberate (or Die Trying)
Breaking, Games News

Helldivers 2: Still Buggy, But Now With MORE Bugs and Planets to Liberate (or Die Trying)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Helldivers 2, now with added Xbox exclusivity (because PC players are *obviously* superior 🙄), has graced us with the “Into…

Thunderbirds Are (Barely) Go! Two Episodes Fly (Like Geriatrics) to Cinemas for 60th Anniversary Cash Grab, New Trailer Released (Prepare for Disappointment)
Breaking, Movie News

Thunderbirds Are (Barely) Go! Two Episodes Fly (Like Geriatrics) to Cinemas for 60th Anniversary Cash Grab, New Trailer Released (Prepare for Disappointment)

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Anderson Entertainment, bless their cotton socks, and Kaleidoscope Entertainment, who apparently still exist, have decided to unleash a “big-screen experience”…

California’s Redistricting Rollercoaster: Buckle Up for November’s Cartographic Chaos
Elephant Reads CNN

California’s Redistricting Rollercoaster: Buckle Up for November’s Cartographic Chaos

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, California, still trying to undermine President Trump! These coastal elites just can’t stand that America is great again. Now,…

Stocks Soaring? More Like Snoring-ly Overpriced | CNN (Clueless) Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Soaring? More Like Snoring-ly Overpriced | CNN (Clueless) Business

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Another day, another socialist scare tactic from CNN! They’re whining about the stock market being “expensive” and “vulnerable.” News flash,…

Kraft Heinz Decides to Finally Embrace Its Multiple Personality Disorder
Elephant Reads CNN

Kraft Heinz Decides to Finally Embrace Its Multiple Personality Disorder

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Kraft Heinz, bowing to the woke mob’s demands for “diversity” and “inclusion” in our grocery…

CNN’s Sept 2 Rundown: Afghanistan’s a Mess, Sudan’s a Bigger Mess, Covid’s Still a Thing, Chicago’s Still Chicago, and Mass Shootings, Because ‘Murica
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Sept 2 Rundown: Afghanistan’s a Mess, Sudan’s a Bigger Mess, Covid’s Still a Thing, Chicago’s Still Chicago, and Mass Shootings, Because ‘Murica

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Folks, President Trump is once again showing why he’s the greatest! He’s awarding the Medal of Freedom to Rudy Giuliani,…

Taco Bell’s Y2K Menu: Because You Asked For It (Said No One Ever)
Elephant Reads CNN

Taco Bell’s Y2K Menu: Because You Asked For It (Said No One Ever)

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by woke corporations to pander to the easily-influenced masses! Taco Bell, succumbing to the siren…

Illinois Official Hilariously Claims Trump’s Chicago “Help” Came Without a Single Phone Call, Text, or Carrier Pigeon | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Illinois Official Hilariously Claims Trump’s Chicago “Help” Came Without a Single Phone Call, Text, or Carrier Pigeon | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

**Another day, another soccer mom triggered by… something. Probably the price of organic kale at Whole Foods. But no, wait!…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 405 406 407 … 468 Next

Latest posts

  • LETLIVE Might Possibly Maybe Consider New Music If They Feel Like It Someday Maybe
  • Whiny Italy insults America over Trump’s truth about Meloni
  • NASCAR Celebrates Pride Month With First All-Subaru Race
  • Amazon Abruptly Cancels Movie About Sam Altman Because Let’s Be Real Who Cares About Some Guy and His AI Company Anyway
  • Gang of Dragon Still NOT Dead Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs Founders Anyway Nagoshi Studio Is Totally Fine Without Them

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}