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Deathstalker: Prepare to Have Your Sword and Sorcery Standards Lowered (Trailer Inside)
Breaking, Movie News

Deathstalker: Prepare to Have Your Sword and Sorcery Standards Lowered (Trailer Inside)

FinnAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Oh boy, another remake! 🙄 In Deathstalker, because Hollywood is SO original, the Kingdom of Abraxeon (try saying that five…

Emma Thompson and Judy Greer star in “Dead of Winter,” a thriller that’s probably not as thrilling as doing your taxes
Breaking, Movie News

Emma Thompson and Judy Greer star in “Dead of Winter,” a thriller that’s probably not as thrilling as doing your taxes

FinnAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Oh, honey, get ready for the most groundbreaking cinematic masterpiece of 2025! 🙄 It’s about a woman, Barb (played by…

Trump and Some Guy Who Knows About Old Stuff Hung Out
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump and Some Guy Who Knows About Old Stuff Hung Out

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Our beloved President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, decided to have lunch with Lonnie Bunch III, the head honcho at…

5 MMO Features So Good, They’ll Steal Your Life Savings and Social Life
Breaking, Games News

5 MMO Features So Good, They’ll Steal Your Life Savings and Social Life

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round for some *totally* unbiased truths about why you’re still wasting your lives in MMOs. 🙄 We’re…

SEX PISTOLS’ ‘Never Mind The Bollocks’ Reissue: As If You Didn’t Already Own It
Breaking, Music News

SEX PISTOLS’ ‘Never Mind The Bollocks’ Reissue: As If You Didn’t Already Own It

Chord F. DiscordAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

“Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols”, an album that apparently “rewired” 20 years of rock in under 40…

Soulfly Drops Another Banger: ‘Chama’ Album & ‘Storm The Gates’ Single – Prepare for Tribal Groove Overload
Breaking, Music News

Soulfly Drops Another Banger: ‘Chama’ Album & ‘Storm The Gates’ Single – Prepare for Tribal Groove Overload

Chord F. DiscordAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

SOULFLY, those elder statesmen of… uh… extreme metal (?), are gracing us with their thirteenth studio album, “Chama”, dropping on…

Trump’s master plan: Operation Send-Back-to-Guatemala-palooza
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s master plan: Operation Send-Back-to-Guatemala-palooza

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Folks, President Trump is STILL cleaning up the mess left by the radical Left! Now, he’s sending back those precious…

Fed’s Diversity Dance: A Tango of Progress Interrupted by a Tiny-Handed Tango Twister
Elephant Reads CNN

Fed’s Diversity Dance: A Tango of Progress Interrupted by a Tiny-Handed Tango Twister

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Another day, another victory for the forces of freedom and common sense! It seems President Trump is continuing his quest…

Toxic Avenger’s Back: Your Lunch Plans Ruined (Again!)
Events

Toxic Avenger’s Back: Your Lunch Plans Ruined (Again!)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 29, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 You NEED a ticket PER PERSON for this cinematic masterpiece! 🤡 Miss out on Eventbrite? Just rock up…

JD Vance’s Profound Prayer Ponderings: A CNN Masterclass in Nuance (or Not)
Elephant Reads CNN

JD Vance’s Profound Prayer Ponderings: A CNN Masterclass in Nuance (or Not)

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Ah, the Lefties are at it again, folks! They’re whining about “thoughts and prayers” after a school shooting, claiming it’s…

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Latest posts

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  • Because adulting is hard lets give people money to fix their feelings
  • Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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