GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)
GODSMACK, those purveyors of, uh, “music,” have announced a whopping dozen or so European shows for the distant year of…
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MAYHEM Drops a Real Downer, “Despair,” from Their Joyless “Liturgy of Death” Album
Get ready, posers, because the corpse-painted clowns 🤡 in MAYHEM are back with their SEVENTH studio album, “Liturgy Of Death”,…
Sabrina Carpenter Throws Shade at White House for Being Tone-Deaf and Using Her Bop in Cringe Political Ad
Another day, another snowflake meltdown! The White House, in its infinite wisdom, used some bubblegum pop song in a video…
‘Ukraine vs Russia: A Totally Fair Fight (Spoiler: It’s Not)’
Oh, the horror! CNN is clutching its pearls over Russia supposedly erasing Ukrainian culture. You know, because sending billions in…
ICE to Round Up Minnesota’s “Finest” Somalis, Feds Say, LOL
Another day, another attempt by the Fake News media to undermine President Trump’s efforts to secure our nation! ICE is…
Keanu Reeves’s band DOGSTAR (lol) Announces Spring/Summer 2026 European Tour (get your earplugs ready)
So, Keanu Reeves, bless his heart, decided that saving the world as John Wick wasn’t enough. Now he’s back with…
Outward 2: Still Somehow Alive and Kicking (Your Butt)
Okay, so I begrudgingly loaded up Outward 2, fully expecting to hate every single polygon of its existence. I mean,…
David Lowery’s ‘Mother Mary’ Trailer Drops, and We’re All Pretending to Be Excited
Oh honey, hold onto your wigs because the trailer for David Lowery’s “MOTHER MARY” just dropped, and it’s serving… something…
Splinter Cell Reboot: Sam Fisher’s Back…Again (Hopefully Not Another Disappointment)
Breaking News: Ubisoft Hires Back Guy Who Already Left 🤡 To Direct Splinter Cell Remake! Is This Groundhog Day? In…
IO Interactive CEO Accidentally Sort Of Maybe Mentions Hitman 4 (But Who Cares? CO-OP IS HERE, BABYYYY)
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE what IO Interactive’s CEO, Hakan Abrak, just said about the future of Hitman! Turns out,…