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Tag: James

Denis Villeneuve Directing Bond? More Like Bore-is Villeneuve
Breaking, Movie News

Denis Villeneuve Directing Bond? More Like Bore-is Villeneuve

FinnJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 Denis Villeneuve, the guy who made sand look interesting for 3 hours, is directing the new James Bond…

Smashing Pumpkins Milking ‘Machina’ For All It’s Worth With Ridiculous 25th-Anniversary Reissue Variants
Breaking, Music News

Smashing Pumpkins Milking ‘Machina’ For All It’s Worth With Ridiculous 25th-Anniversary Reissue Variants

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

FINALLY! 🙄 After YEARS of promising, Billy Corgan (aka William Patrick Corgan, in case you forgot he’s trying to be…

GENE HOGLAN: Lars Stole My Beat, Metallica Paid My Bills (Allegedly)
Breaking, Music News

GENE HOGLAN: Lars Stole My Beat, Metallica Paid My Bills (Allegedly)

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 26, 2025

In a recent interview with the obscure That Metal Interview podcast, DARK ANGEL drummer Gene Hoglan, bless his heart, is…

Every Single Danny Boyle Film, Ranked From ‘Meh’ to ‘Masterpiece’ (Spoiler: They’re All Brilliant)
Breaking, Movie News

Every Single Danny Boyle Film, Ranked From ‘Meh’ to ‘Masterpiece’ (Spoiler: They’re All Brilliant)

FinnJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

Danny Boyle, oh, Danny Boyle. Is he a cinematic genius or just a guy who got lucky with a few…

Metallica’s ‘Hometown’ Concerts: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Their 2025 ‘M72’ Tour (Spoiler: They’re Still in San Francisco)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica’s ‘Hometown’ Concerts: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Their 2025 ‘M72’ Tour (Spoiler: They’re Still in San Francisco)

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

So, METALLICA’s tour coordinator, this dude Jon-Michael Marino (who?), gave KPIX (aka CBS Bay Area, which, let’s be honest, nobody…

Cuomo’s Comeback: From Zero to Hero (Maybe)
Elephant Reads CNN

Cuomo’s Comeback: From Zero to Hero (Maybe)

Big ElephantJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

Ah, CNN, still pushing the narrative that anyone who isn’t a radical leftist is somehow a Trump clone. This time,…

METALLICA: PLUGINZ Milks Cliff Burton’s Corpse for Cash with Useless Jack Rack Collection
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA: PLUGINZ Milks Cliff Burton’s Corpse for Cash with Useless Jack Rack Collection

Chord F. DiscordJune 19, 2025June 23, 2025

Alright, buckle up, metalheads (and metal-adjacent folks who accidentally clicked on this)! 🤘 Pluginz, those masterminds of musical merchandise, are…

KORN’s New Album: ‘All On Tape’ Because They Still Haven’t Discovered Digital
Breaking, Music News

KORN’s New Album: ‘All On Tape’ Because They Still Haven’t Discovered Digital

Chord F. DiscordJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 Guess what, fellow headbangers? Our beloved KORN, yes, the band that brought you such lyrical masterpieces as “Freak…

X Marks the Spot for Lawsuits: Elon’s Epic Battle Against New York’s Nanny State
Elephant Reads CNN

X Marks the Spot for Lawsuits: Elon’s Epic Battle Against New York’s Nanny State

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the irony! Elon Musk, the supposed right-wing messiah, is being persecuted by none other than Letitia James, that champion…

Spaceballs 2: The Squeakquel – Because Original Ideas Are Hard
Breaking, Movie News

Spaceballs 2: The Squeakquel – Because Original Ideas Are Hard

FinnJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 ‘Spaceballs 2’ is actually happening! Like, for realz? 🤣 I thought Mel Brooks was, like, a fossil by…

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Latest posts

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  • TRUTH SOCIAL DISPATCH: Trump claims war on fentanyl cuts deaths by over 10000
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump plots crushing economic blockade against Iran
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Chris Garten to lead Indiana Senate chamber

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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