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Ryan Reynolds Announces the Apocalypse is Near Because Deadpool is Never Making Another Movie Again and We’re All Doomed to Live Without His Regenerating Degenerate Self on the Big Screen
Breaking, Movie News

Ryan Reynolds Announces the Apocalypse is Near Because Deadpool is Never Making Another Movie Again and We’re All Doomed to Live Without His Regenerating Degenerate Self on the Big Screen

FinnApril 20, 2026April 20, 2026

We’ve seen the last of Deadpool’s solo adventures, or have we? 🤔👊 It’s not like Ryan Reynolds is tired of…

ANDREAS KISSER Totally Definitely Isn’t Lying When He Says He Might Play with SEPULTURA Again After Their Totally Not Permanent Farewell Tour
Breaking, Music News

ANDREAS KISSER Totally Definitely Isn’t Lying When He Says He Might Play with SEPULTURA Again After Their Totally Not Permanent Farewell Tour

Chord F. DiscordApril 19, 2026April 19, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, SEPULTURA’s guitarist Andreas Kisser has revealed that the band’s farewell tour might not be…

SCORPIONS’ April 2026 Tour Of India Canceled Because Klaus Meine Finally Realized He’s Older Than The Taj Mahal
Breaking News: SCORPIONS Cancel India Tour Due to "Unforeseen Medical Circumstances" (aka They're Just Getting Old) 🙅‍♂️
Breaking, Events, Music News

SCORPIONS’ April 2026 Tour Of India Canceled Because Klaus Meine Finally Realized He’s Older Than The Taj Mahal

Chord F. DiscordApril 19, 2026April 19, 2026

Oh no, the SCORPIONS have canceled their India tour 🎸🇮🇳, and we’re all just devastated 😱. The tour organizers, BookMyShow,…

Liberals imploding over Israel, how perfectly pathetic and predictable
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberals imploding over Israel, how perfectly pathetic and predictable

Big ElephantApril 19, 2026April 19, 2026

Oh joy, let me just contain my excitement as I write about the latest “achievements” of our beloved President Donald…

Radio Dead End: Vol. 2 — Swedish Death Metal: The Sound of Eternal Rot 📻🇸🇪🤘
Videos

Radio Dead End: Vol. 2 — Swedish Death Metal: The Sound of Eternal Rot 📻🇸🇪🤘

Chuck B. BallsyApril 18, 2026

«Dead men tell no tales, but they sure as hell scream.» 💀😱 Radio Dead End: Vol. 2 is officially live!…

DIMMU BORGIR’s SILENOZ On Super Long Awaited ‘Grand Serpent Rising’ Album Weve Managed To Write Some Songs That Wont Put You To Sleep Immediately Without Sacrificing Our Integrity Or Selling Out Completely
Breaking, Music News

DIMMU BORGIR’s SILENOZ On Super Long Awaited ‘Grand Serpent Rising’ Album Weve Managed To Write Some Songs That Wont Put You To Sleep Immediately Without Sacrificing Our Integrity Or Selling Out Completely

Chord F. DiscordApril 18, 2026April 18, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, DIMMU BORGIR’s guitarist Sven “Silenoz” Kopperud revealed that the band’s upcoming album, “Grand Serpent…

THE BLACK CROWES To Headline Super Exclusive Concert For The 12 People Who Still Use SiriusXM In Austin
Breaking, Events, Music News

THE BLACK CROWES To Headline Super Exclusive Concert For The 12 People Who Still Use SiriusXM In Austin

Chord F. DiscordApril 17, 2026April 17, 2026

Breaking news, folks! 🚨🎸 The Black Crowes are teaming up with Whiskey Myers for an epic concert that will surely…

Oh Joy Another Beloved Childhood Classic Is About to Be Ruined by a Soulless Live-Action Remake of FernGully Because What the World Really Needed Was a Reboot of a Movie About a Fairy and a Human Who Fall in Love in the Rainforest
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Beloved Childhood Classic Is About to Be Ruined by a Soulless Live-Action Remake of FernGully Because What the World Really Needed Was a Reboot of a Movie About a Fairy and a Human Who Fall in Love in the Rainforest

FinnApril 17, 2026April 17, 2026

Breaking news: The Amazon rainforest might not be the last one after all, because Amazon MGM is remaking FernGully: The…

The New Jackass Movie Will Finally Put Us All Out of Our Misery and End the Series Before Steve-O Dies Trying to Snort a Live Chicken
Breaking, Movie News

The New Jackass Movie Will Finally Put Us All Out of Our Misery and End the Series Before Steve-O Dies Trying to Snort a Live Chicken

FinnApril 17, 2026April 17, 2026

Well, folks, it’s time to bid a fond farewell to the most iconic, the most legendary, the most utterly ridiculous…

Kublai Khan TX in Raleigh, NC (04/16/2026)
Videos

Kublai Khan TX in Raleigh, NC (04/16/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyApril 17, 2026

American metalcore from Sherman, Texas! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

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Latest posts

  • ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
  • SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to
  • Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
  • Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity 

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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