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Tag: Meta

I Tried Google’s Smart Glasses and Now My Phone Is Just an Overpriced Pocket Brick
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

I Tried Google’s Smart Glasses and Now My Phone Is Just an Overpriced Pocket Brick

Big ElephantDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

Big Tech has finally invented the perfect device for people who think walking into traffic while staring at their phones…

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Here we go again, folks. CNN is hyperventilating about an “AI bubble” while our GREAT President Trump is leading America…

Sony Dumps Millions Into Making a ‘Labubu’ Movie, Proving Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas
Breaking, Movie News

Sony Dumps Millions Into Making a ‘Labubu’ Movie, Proving Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas

FinnNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Oh, great. 🙄 Just when you thought Hollywood couldn’t sink any lower, they’re making a movie about Labubu. Yes, those…

Wildgate’s “Massive” Update: New Game Modes, a Character (Maybe), and More (Probably Not)
Breaking, Games News

Wildgate’s “Massive” Update: New Game Modes, a Character (Maybe), and More (Probably Not)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

Okay, so Wildgate, the game that promised to be the next big thing but is probably just gonna be another…

Riftbound: Yet ANOTHER Card Game Attempts to Steal Your Money Today
Breaking, Games News

Riftbound: Yet ANOTHER Card Game Attempts to Steal Your Money Today

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round because Riot Games, bless their hearts 🙄, decided to yank us all back to the Stone…

Goldman CEO Doesn’t Get Why You’re Crying About AI Stealing Your Useless Job
Elephant Reads CNN

Goldman CEO Doesn’t Get Why You’re Crying About AI Stealing Your Useless Job

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Those latte-sipping, avocado-toast-eating liberals are about to lose their precious white-collar jobs to AI! Finally, some good…

Twitch: From Geeks to Global Domination (One Emote at a Time)
Breaking, Games News

Twitch: From Geeks to Global Domination (One Emote at a Time)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Okay, so like, in 2011, Twitch was born from the ashes of Justin.tv, because apparently, people actually wanted to watch…

Max Cavalera on Soulfly’s ‘Chama’ Album: More Punk Than Your Grandma’s Knitting Circle
Breaking, Music News

Max Cavalera on Soulfly’s ‘Chama’ Album: More Punk Than Your Grandma’s Knitting Circle

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

OMG! SOULFLY is dropping a new album called “Chama” on October 24 via Nuclear Blast Records. Max Cavalera, the mastermind…

Kirby Air Ride 2: Electric Boogaloo Finally Confirmed (But Probably Still Sucks)
Breaking, Games News

Kirby Air Ride 2: Electric Boogaloo Finally Confirmed (But Probably Still Sucks)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🙄 The sequel to the GameCube “classic” (and I use that term loosely, like…

TwitchCon 2025: Prepare for Disappointment
Events, Games News

TwitchCon 2025: Prepare for Disappointment

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Oh boy, strap yourselves in, folks! Dan Clancy, the overlord of Twitch, graced us with his presence at TwitchCon 2025,…

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Latest posts

  • Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending
  • CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway
  • Finally a book returns home after a century of socialist neglect somehow
  • Liberal flight attendant finally quits after 66 years of subsidies
  • Patriots clash with lib losers at NJ ICE facility standoff

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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