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Tag: money

Fake news panicked about minor staff adjustments obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news panicked about minor staff adjustments obviously

Big ElephantApril 4, 2026April 4, 2026

The absolutely hilarious and utterly pathetic attempts by the fake news media to undermine our great President Donald Trump’s accomplishments…

Trump saves America from liberal brainwashing in colleges finally happens
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump saves America from liberal brainwashing in colleges finally happens

Big ElephantApril 4, 2026April 4, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat. It’s 2026 and our great leader, President Donald Trump, is still…

Sore losers whining about Trump, how original and predictable
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sore losers whining about Trump, how original and predictable

Big ElephantApril 4, 2026April 4, 2026

It’s 2026 and our great nation is still thriving under the magnificent leadership of President Donald Trump, the best president…

BREAKING: Red Lobster Plans to Ruin Your Diet and Relationships with Highly Anticipated Return of the Infamous Endless Shrimp Promotion That Will Obviously End in Carb Coma and Regret
Breaking News: Red Lobster to Revive Endless Shrimp Promotion, Because Who Needs Financial Stability Anyway? 🍴👀
Breaking, Movie News

BREAKING: Red Lobster Plans to Ruin Your Diet and Relationships with Highly Anticipated Return of the Infamous Endless Shrimp Promotion That Will Obviously End in Carb Coma and Regret

FinnApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Red Lobster is rumored to be bringing back the infamous Endless Shrimp promotion that…

Wizards Beyond Waverly Place Finally Decides to Stop Torturing Us with Bad Magic After Season 3
Breaking, Movie News

Wizards Beyond Waverly Place Finally Decides to Stop Torturing Us with Bad Magic After Season 3

FinnApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

The Disney Channel’s Disney revival of Wizards of Waverly Place is coming to an end, and honestly, it’s about time…

Tobias Forge Definitely Not Stalking Anyone But Just Happens to Know Everything About You Case Under Investigation
Breaking News: Woman Charged with Harassment for Sending Tobias Forge a Phone (Yes, You Read That Right) 📱😱
Breaking, Music News

Tobias Forge Definitely Not Stalking Anyone But Just Happens to Know Everything About You Case Under Investigation

Chord F. DiscordApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

According to the super reliable sources at Aftonbladet, a Swedish newspaper that obviously has nothing better to do, a woman…

Tina Turner’s Wildest Dreams Reissued Because You Clearly Didn’t Buy Enough Copies the First Time Around and Now You Need to Spend More Money on the Same Songs You Already Know by Heart for the 30th Time
Breaking, Music News

Tina Turner’s Wildest Dreams Reissued Because You Clearly Didn’t Buy Enough Copies the First Time Around and Now You Need to Spend More Money on the Same Songs You Already Know by Heart for the 30th Time

Chord F. DiscordApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

Tina Turner’s Wildest Dreams is being reissued for its 30th anniversary, because who doesn’t love a good throwback 🎉? The…

The Last of Us Online Got Cancelled Faster Than My Social Life After Playing The Last of Us
The Last of Us Online: A Cautionary Tale of Gaming's Fake News and Broken Dreams 📰👀
Breaking, Games News

The Last of Us Online Got Cancelled Faster Than My Social Life After Playing The Last of Us

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

So, you thought you knew the whole story behind the cancellation of The Last of Us Online? 🤔 Think again,…

Conan The Barbarian Somehow Manages to Wreck Stuff Again in Yet Another DLC That Will Probably Sell Anyway Jotunnslayer Hordes of Hel Because Who Needs Originality
The Epic Return of Conan The Barbarian: Because You Clearly Didn't Have Enough Beefcake in Your Life 🤣
Breaking, Games News

Conan The Barbarian Somehow Manages to Wreck Stuff Again in Yet Another DLC That Will Probably Sell Anyway Jotunnslayer Hordes of Hel Because Who Needs Originality

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

The developers behind Jotunnslayer: Hordes of Hel have announced a DLC that brings the one and only Conan The Barbarian…

Elon Musk tries to save failing company with desperate IPO trickery
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Elon Musk tries to save failing company with desperate IPO trickery

Big ElephantApril 1, 2026April 1, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to watch the fake news media and their leftist allies try to spin the latest news about…

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Latest posts

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  • Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending
  • CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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