Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: money

Gary Kemp Talks About “This Destination” (Yeah, We Know You’re Googling It πŸ™„)
Breaking

Gary Kemp Talks About “This Destination” (Yeah, We Know You’re Googling It πŸ™„)

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

So, Gary Kemp, bless his cotton socks, has a new album out. πŸ™„ Apparently, it’s called *This Destination*. Because, you…

Skate 4: Offline? Nah, fam, EA says get ready to pay for internet FOREVER πŸ€£πŸ’ΈπŸ”₯
Breaking

Skate 4: Offline? Nah, fam, EA says get ready to pay for internet FOREVER πŸ€£πŸ’ΈπŸ”₯

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 27, 2025April 27, 2025

So, EA’s *Skate* is back, baby! πŸŽ‰ And by “back,” we mean back to nickel-and-diming you into oblivion with a…

Joey Jordison’s family wants YOUR money πŸ’° to unleash some VIMIC tunes nobody asked for πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ, so dig deep, metalheads! 🀘
Breaking

Joey Jordison’s family wants YOUR money πŸ’° to unleash some VIMIC tunes nobody asked for πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ, so dig deep, metalheads! 🀘

Chord F. DiscordApril 27, 2025April 27, 2025

Okay, so, like, remember Joey Jordison? The dude who got the boot from Slipknot because…reasons? πŸ€” Well, his family, bless…

Oh great, get ready for “Greyhound 2: Electric Boogaloo,” where Tom Hanks fights space pirates on a bus fueled by earnestness and Apple stock options πŸ™„πŸšŒπŸŽπŸš€.
Breaking

Oh great, get ready for “Greyhound 2: Electric Boogaloo,” where Tom Hanks fights space pirates on a bus fueled by earnestness and Apple stock options πŸ™„πŸšŒπŸŽπŸš€.

FinnApril 27, 2025April 27, 2025

OMG! 😱 Tom Hanks, bless his cotton socks, is back for ‘Greyhound 2: Electric Boogaloo’! Because, you know, the first…

Oh, Canada, eh? πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ Prepare for the earth-shattering, life-altering, probably-the-same-stuff-as-every-other-month content bomb dropping on Disney+ in May 2025! 🍿😴
Breaking

Oh, Canada, eh? πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ Prepare for the earth-shattering, life-altering, probably-the-same-stuff-as-every-other-month content bomb dropping on Disney+ in May 2025! 🍿😴

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 26, 2025April 26, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Disney+ Canada is blessing us with *more* content in May 2025. Yes, MORE. As if…

Ex-Megadeth bassist boasts he’s so rich he can finally afford to listen to Megadeth on *premium* streaming πŸ€‘πŸ˜‚πŸŽΈ.
Breaking

Ex-Megadeth bassist boasts he’s so rich he can finally afford to listen to Megadeth on *premium* streaming πŸ€‘πŸ˜‚πŸŽΈ.

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2025April 26, 2025

OMG, you guys! πŸ™„ David Ellefson, the guy who used to slap the bass for MEGADETH (before, you know, *that*…

Sydney Sweeney to grace the silver screen in yet another “prestige” role, proving once again that Hollywood has run out of ideasπŸ’…πŸŽ¬πŸ™„
Breaking

Sydney Sweeney to grace the silver screen in yet another “prestige” role, proving once again that Hollywood has run out of ideasπŸ’…πŸŽ¬πŸ™„

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 25, 2025April 25, 2025

Hold on to your hats, folks, because Hollywood’s about to butcher another beloved video game! Split Fiction, that co-op game…

Meow! 😹 Peter Criss, the catman who used to hit things in KISS, is rounding up a circus of ringers for his “hard rock” comeback, because why not? πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ
Breaking

Meow! 😹 Peter Criss, the catman who used to hit things in KISS, is rounding up a circus of ringers for his “hard rock” comeback, because why not? πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

Chord F. DiscordApril 24, 2025April 24, 2025

Hold onto your dentures, KISS Army, because the Catman is back…again! 🀣 Yes, Peter Criss, the legendary (or legendarily inconsistent,…

Slaughter to Prevail drops “Grizzly,” probably about as ferocious as a Care Bear with a hangover 🐻😴.
Breaking

Slaughter to Prevail drops “Grizzly,” probably about as ferocious as a Care Bear with a hangover 🐻😴.

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

Oh sweet mother of Putin, brace yourselves, comrades! πŸ‡·πŸ‡ΊπŸ» Your favorite Russian deathcore export, SLAUGHTER TO PREVAIL, is dropping their…

Oops!…She’s STILL At It: Britney’s “Oops!…I Did It Again” Gets Dragged Out for Another 25 Years πŸ™„πŸ’Ώβœ¨
Breaking

Oops!…She’s STILL At It: Britney’s “Oops!…I Did It Again” Gets Dragged Out for Another 25 Years πŸ™„πŸ’Ώβœ¨

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

OMG! 😱 You guys are NOT going to BELIEVE this! They’re milking Britney’s “Oops!… I Did It Again” for all…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 126 127 128 Next

Latest posts

  • Man Attributes Classical Music Knowledge To Watching Bugs Bunny Cartoons
  • Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Revival Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Nightmares Already Now It’s Bloody Fantastic Get Ready to Wet Your Pants Again
  • All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying
  • G7 losers await Trump’s genius Iran deal masterstroke obviously
  • Fake news CNN claims independents abandon patriot party

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}