🤣 OMG! You guys are NOT gonna BELIEVE this! Call of Duty: Black Ops 7, yes, SEVEN, is coming out, and guess what? The Nintendo Switch 2 is getting the ultimate snub! Like, OUCH! 💔 Someone at Dealabs, who is apparently a super-secret insider, is saying it won’t be there at launch. Can you even imagine?! All those little Switch 2 fanboys crying into their joy-cons. 😭😂
So, Billbil-kun, this totally reliable dude, says it’s a confirmed NO for the Switch 2 launch. Meanwhile, the Call of Duty overlords were all like, “We’re SO committed to the Switch 2!” earlier this year. Liars! 🤥 They didn’t specifically say Black Ops 7, but like, come ON! We all know what that means. It means they were totally playing us!
Microsoft, being the mysterious overlord they are, hasn’t said much. But, like, duh, it’ll probably happen eventually because, let’s be real, the Switch 2 is going to be a money-printing machine. 💰 Plus, remember that “legally-binding” contract where Microsoft promised to bring Call of Duty to Nintendo for the next DECADE? Yeah, that was just for show! 🤡 They just wanted to look good for the EU’s Activision-Blizzard hearing. “Oh, we’re bringing more choice!” Yeah, right! More like bringing more lies.
And get this – there hasn’t even been a SINGLE Call of Duty game on the Switch yet! 😂 But hey, we got Crash Bandicoot and Spyro. Totally the same thing, right? NOT! 🙅♀️
Black Ops 7 got announced with a super-dramatic trailer at the Xbox Games Showcase. All about mind games and serving under David Mason. So deep. 🙄 We still have NO clue about gameplay, multiplayer, or zombies. But don’t worry, they’ll probably throw us some scraps soon. Maybe at Gamescom, if we’re lucky. 🍀
Mark your calendars (or don’t, who cares? 🤷♀️) because Call of Duty: Black Ops 7 is launching in 2025 on PS4 (lol), PS5, Xbox One (another lol), Xbox Series X|S, and PC. Switch 2? Nah, you didn’t hear it from me. 😉
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
