Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: money

Lies of P: Overture – We Played It So You Don’t Have To (But You Will Anyway, You Pinocchio Simps)
Breaking

Lies of P: Overture – We Played It So You Don’t Have To (But You Will Anyway, You Pinocchio Simps)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

When I first glimpsed the trailer for Lies of P: Overture, my reaction was a symphony of *meh*. Seriously, where’s…

Free Seminar: Learn to Love Your Money (Before It Leaves You)
Live

Free Seminar: Learn to Love Your Money (Before It Leaves You)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 Can’t manage your dinero? 💸 Is money controlling YOU? 🤡 Attend this “seminario” and learn to blame your…

Lou Koller FINALLY Admits He’s Not Dying (For Now)
Breaking

Lou Koller FINALLY Admits He’s Not Dying (For Now)

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 21, 2025

Alright, listen up, ya bunch of whiny internet trolls! Lou Koller, the screechy frontman of those geriatric hardcore legends, SICK…

Disturbed Finds 110,897 People Who Still Own CD Players on “The Sickness” Victory Lap
Breaking

Disturbed Finds 110,897 People Who Still Own CD Players on “The Sickness” Victory Lap

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Alright, metalheads and casual listeners (we see you!), let’s talk about DISTURBED and their groundbreaking, earth-shattering, life-altering (yeah, right) “The…

Oh GREAT, Another ‘Gears of War’ Movie, Just What the World Needed
Breaking

Oh GREAT, Another ‘Gears of War’ Movie, Just What the World Needed

FinnMay 20, 2025May 21, 2025

Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), is STILL trying to make a ‘Gears of War’ movie happen. 🙄…

Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)
Breaking

Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

BREAKING: Shift Up, Creators of the Game That Shall Not Be Named (Unless You’re Into That Sort of Thing), Confirm…

Borderlands 4: Give Us All Your Money, You Pathetic Vault Hunter
Breaking

Borderlands 4: Give Us All Your Money, You Pathetic Vault Hunter

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

So, apparently, some whiny “fans” are clutching their wallets tighter than a goblin guarding its gold because *Borderlands 4* might…

Bill Ward’s Back on the Airwaves? Oh, Joy
Breaking

Bill Ward’s Back on the Airwaves? Oh, Joy

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

So, apparently, Bill Ward, yes, THAT Bill Ward, the one who wasn’t quite up to snuff for the “final” Sabbath…

Iron Maiden Demands You Stop Filming Their Concerts With Your Potato Phone (But We All Know You Won’t)
Breaking

Iron Maiden Demands You Stop Filming Their Concerts With Your Potato Phone (But We All Know You Won’t)

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

British heavy metal dinosaurs IRON MAIDEN, bless their geriatric hearts, are lumbering back onto the world stage with their “Run…

Razer Blade: Now So Thin It Can Cut You (and Your Wallet), So Smart It Judges Your Life Choices, and So Powerful It Can Barely Run Windows
Breaking

Razer Blade: Now So Thin It Can Cut You (and Your Wallet), So Smart It Judges Your Life Choices, and So Powerful It Can Barely Run Windows

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Razer just dropped their “thinnest and most powerful” Blade laptop yet! 🙄 I’m sure it’s…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 146 147 148 … 155 Next

Latest posts

  • Drummer Collapses on Stage Dies During Live Performance
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Dan Scavino gets thumbs up from cabinet officials reportedly
  • Chris Slade Exits Drumming Scene After Illustrious Career
  • Stella Lefty Hits The Road For 2027 Headlining Tour
  • Julian Casablancas Calls James Murphy Indie Rocks Brett Favre

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.