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Tag: money

ICE does its job in Baltimore, libs freak out somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE does its job in Baltimore, libs freak out somehow

Big ElephantJune 12, 2026June 12, 2026

Oh, great, another newsarticle trying to trash our beloved President Donald Trump, the best thing that’s happened to this country…

Xbox to Finally Release Console That Will Definitely Not Catch on Fire and Only Occasionally Freeze in 2027 Maybe Possibly Hopefully
Breaking, Games News

Xbox to Finally Release Console That Will Definitely Not Catch on Fire and Only Occasionally Freeze in 2027 Maybe Possibly Hopefully

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 11, 2026June 11, 2026

Big News, Folks! 🚨 XBOX is Having a Major Meltdown 🤯 and We Can’t Look Away 🍿. It seems like…

5 Super Obvious Ways to Save Money on Gaming That You Definitely Haven’t Already Thought Of Because You’re Clearly a Responsible Adult Who Doesn’t Spend All Their Paycheck on Loot Boxes
Breaking, Games News

5 Super Obvious Ways to Save Money on Gaming That You Definitely Haven’t Already Thought Of Because You’re Clearly a Responsible Adult Who Doesn’t Spend All Their Paycheck on Loot Boxes

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 11, 2026June 11, 2026

Gamers are spending more than ever, but who needs personal financial responsibility, right? 🤑 According to Circana, total U.S. video…

Finally a terrorist pays for killing our brave American heroes somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Finally a terrorist pays for killing our brave American heroes somehow

Big ElephantJune 10, 2026June 10, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, the fake news media is at it again, spreading their liberal lies and propaganda about our…

Stranger Things Broadway Show Finally Runs Out of Monopoly Money to Waste on This Trainwreck
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things Broadway Show Finally Runs Out of Monopoly Money to Waste on This Trainwreck

FinnJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

The Stranger Things Broadway play is finally ending, and we can’t wait to celebrate the fact that we’ll no longer…

OH JOY NEKROGOBLIKON Is Still Alive And Will Be Torturing Ears On Their Totally Not Overdue 20th Anniversary Tour Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough Of Them The First Time Around
Breaking, Events, Music News

OH JOY NEKROGOBLIKON Is Still Alive And Will Be Torturing Ears On Their Totally Not Overdue 20th Anniversary Tour Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough Of Them The First Time Around

Chord F. DiscordJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

Get ready for the most epic, life-changing, and potentially ear-destroying experience of your life: NEKROGOBLIKON is going on tour 🤯🎉!…

Liberal rich kid Nick Reiner begs for trust fund blood money
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal rich kid Nick Reiner begs for trust fund blood money

Big ElephantJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media…

Break Out the Neon and Big Hair Because the Most Iconic and Totally Not Forgotten Cartoon of the 80s Jem and the Holograms Is Getting a Live Action Series Because You Clearly Asked for This
Breaking, Movie News

Break Out the Neon and Big Hair Because the Most Iconic and Totally Not Forgotten Cartoon of the 80s Jem and the Holograms Is Getting a Live Action Series Because You Clearly Asked for This

FinnJune 8, 2026June 8, 2026

Oh joy, because the world was just missing another live-action adaptation of a beloved ’80s franchise, Jem and the Holograms…

Day of the Devs 2026: Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Video Games Already and Now We’re Gonna Take the Rest of It
Breaking, Games News

Day of the Devs 2026: Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Video Games Already and Now We’re Gonna Take the Rest of It

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 6, 2026June 6, 2026

Day of the Devs 2026 was a wild ride, folks! 🎉👀 We’ve got the scoop on all the hottest new…

Liberal US student goes missing in Japan, big whoop, whatever happens
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal US student goes missing in Japan, big whoop, whatever happens

Big ElephantJune 6, 2026June 6, 2026

Oh boy, are the fake news media and the swamp in Washington D.C. going to have a field day with…

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Latest posts

  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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