Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: money

Trump picks loyalist Todd Blanche as America’s next great attorney general
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump picks loyalist Todd Blanche as America’s next great attorney general

Big ElephantJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

Oh, great, just what we need, another “article” from the so-called “mainstream media” trying to bash our glorious President Donald…

How Microtransactions Ruined Our Lives And Forced Us To Sell Our Souls For A Few More Gems
Breaking, Games News

How Microtransactions Ruined Our Lives And Forced Us To Sell Our Souls For A Few More Gems

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

Mobile games have become the ultimate thieves in the night, sneaking up on your wallet and stealing all your money…

Marvel’s Wolverine – Get Ready for Another Overhyped Game with Too Many Quick Time Events and a Storyline That’s Just an Excuse for More Mindless Hack and Slash Action
Breaking, Games News

Marvel’s Wolverine – Get Ready for Another Overhyped Game with Too Many Quick Time Events and a Storyline That’s Just an Excuse for More Mindless Hack and Slash Action

FinnJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

The wait is over, and the most epic game of the century is finally here! Or should I say, the…

‘Masters of the Universe’ Review: Because Who Needs a Good Reboot Anyway What a Total Masterclass in Mediocrity
Breaking, Movie News

‘Masters of the Universe’ Review: Because Who Needs a Good Reboot Anyway What a Total Masterclass in Mediocrity

FinnJune 2, 2026June 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat! 🎉 I was a He-Man kid, and I’m not ashamed to admit…

Computex 2026: AMD Throws a Party for Ancient AM4 Tech and Slaps a Cheap Sticker on New Stuff to Make You Feel Better About Buying Last Year’s Rejects
Breaking, Games News

Computex 2026: AMD Throws a Party for Ancient AM4 Tech and Slaps a Cheap Sticker on New Stuff to Make You Feel Better About Buying Last Year’s Rejects

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Wow, what a blast from the past! 🎉 AMD is bringing back the good old Ryzen 7 5800X3D, because who…

Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway

FinnMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Suddenly, movie theaters are cool again, and we’re not talking about the kind of cool where your grandma thinks they’re…

OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update
Breaking, Games News

OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Breaking News: 007 First Light Sells 1.5 Million Units in 24 Hours, Because Who Doesn’t Want to be a Suave…

ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already
Breaking, Music News

ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already

Chord F. DiscordMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

So, you want to know about Alice Cooper’s thoughts on AI in music? Well, buckle up, folks, because the Godfather…

Fake news covering Laos cave rescue instead of MAGA greatness happening
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news covering Laos cave rescue instead of MAGA greatness happening

Big ElephantMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Oh joy, folks, it’s another day in the greatest country on earth, and our amazing President Donald Trump is still…

Events

Waste Money on Overpriced Yoga Pants and Call it Pilates at lululemon

Chuck B. BallsyMay 30, 2026

Get ready for a hilarious morning of overpriced yoga pants and matcha 🍵 at lululemon Beverly center on a Sunday,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 128 Next

Latest posts

  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump
  • Fake news Italy PM claims Trump lied about her begging him

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}