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Tag: movies

Because What The World Needed Was Cartoon Carnage
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Needed Was Cartoon Carnage

FinnAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Get ready for the (animated) Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Because what the world really needed was another iteration of a…

Tupac Murder Trial Jury Seated Because Justice Is Slow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tupac Murder Trial Jury Seated Because Justice Is Slow

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It’s been nearly 30 years since Tupac Shakur was fatally shot…

Spider-Man: Brand New Day somehow still making money for Disney
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man: Brand New Day somehow still making money for Disney

FinnAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Spider-Man: Brand New Day has officially become the seventh film in history to gross over $700 million at the U.S.…

Looney Tunes RebootMachine Churns Out Another Soulless Cash Grab
Breaking, Movie News

Looney Tunes RebootMachine Churns Out Another Soulless Cash Grab

FinnAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

The latest attempt to revive a beloved franchise has finally hit theaters, because of course it has. Coyote vs. Acme…

Barbie 2 probably wont happen because miracles do occur in Hollywood sometimes
Breaking, Movie News

Barbie 2 probably wont happen because miracles do occur in Hollywood sometimes

FinnAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

It’s official: the Barbie sequel that was all but guaranteed after the first film’s massive $1.4 billion haul in 2023…

Netflix Recycles Wonka IP Because Original Ideas Are Clearly Overrated
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Recycles Wonka IP Because Original Ideas Are Clearly Overrated

FinnAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

Netflix is bringing a new animated Willy Wonka movie to theaters in 2027, because what the world really needed was…

Bloodsoaked Phantom Blade Zero trailer slashes in with Donnie Yen cameo and Sony debut
Breaking, Games News

Bloodsoaked Phantom Blade Zero trailer slashes in with Donnie Yen cameo and Sony debut

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

Well, well, well, it looks like S-Game has finally decided to lift the veil on their upcoming game, Phantom Blade…

Marvel Releases Official Ranking Because You Clearly Need Their Approval
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel Releases Official Ranking Because You Clearly Need Their Approval

FinnAugust 11, 2026August 12, 2026

Nick Fury’s iconic speech about bringing together a group of remarkable people to see if they could become something more…

Because What Hollywood Needs Is Another Tragic PR Opportunity
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Hollywood Needs Is Another Tragic PR Opportunity

FinnAugust 11, 2026August 12, 2026

Lucy Davis, star of the original English version of The Office, has announced that she is suffering from “incurable” cancer.…

TIFF 2026 Parades 5 Mystery Guests and Some Actual Movies Too
Breaking, Movie News

TIFF 2026 Parades 5 Mystery Guests and Some Actual Movies Too

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 11, 2026August 11, 2026

TIFF 2026 is just around the corner, and the organizers are pulling out all the stops to make this year’s…

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