Fantastic Four: First Steps: Mystery Machine or Mistake Machine?
OMG! You won’t BELIEVE what Marvel just did to your childhood 😭! Turns out The Fantastic Four: First Steps wasn’t…
Tag: movies
Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+
Oh, great, another Marvel cartoon 🙄. As if we didn’t have enough superhero content already. Brace yourselves, folks, because Disney+…
OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)
OMG! 😱 Did you guys hear? Some nobody at Horror Inc. (yeah, never heard of them either) mumbled something about…
“Fantastic Flop? ‘First Steps’ Stumbles with $118 Million”
Another win for real American values! “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” CRUSHES the box office, proving that when you ditch…
“Primitive War: Dinos vs ‘Nam – Get Ready to Clutch Your Pearls, History Buffs”
Oh, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, here we go again! 🤦♂️ Luke Sparke, the “visionary” behind such cinematic masterpieces as “Occupation…
Stephen King’s “The Long Walk” Finally Gets a Trailer (Spoiler: They Walk)
OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 Lionsgate UK, bless their cotton socks, has announced that *THE LONG WALK* will be gracing the…
John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K
Do you read Sutter Cane? 📚 Asking for a friend… who may or may not be a Lovecraftian horror. Well,…
‘Happy Gilmore 2’ on Netflix: Prepare for Peak Cinema (Or Not, LOL)
Oh, joy! 🙄 After a geological epoch of 30 years, during which the cinematic landscape evolved faster than a Charizard…
Air Dud: Golden Receiver? More Like Golden Retriever-ing This Tired Franchise From the Dog House
Oh, sweet suffering cinephiles, brace yourselves! 🏀🐕 The cinematic masterpiece that none of us asked for, *Air Bud Returns*, is…
‘Spinal Tap 2’: Prepare for a Sequel So Long-Awaited, It Might Just Break Your Back
Behold! The geriatric rockers of Spinal Tap, back to assault your eardrums and your intelligence, louder (debatable) and older (definitely)…