HAKEN Fires Guitarist and Bassist for Not Being Able to Play While Juggling
🚨 BREAKING: HAKEN LOSES TWO MEMBERS, GAINS TWO MORE EXCUSES TO REWRITE THEIR SETLIST 🚨 😱🎸 In a move that…
Tag: Music
EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)
🚨 BREAKING: EXTREME ANNOUNCES SEVENTH ALBUM AFTER ONLY 3 YEARS OF SILENCE (A RECORD FOR THEM) 🚨 In a shocking…
Greenland 2: Migration – The Final Trailer (Because Apparently the First One Was Just a Warm-Up for the Ice Age)
Get ready to witness the cinematic masterpiece of the decade: GREENLAND 2: MIGRATION, where survival isn’t just a theme—it’s an…
BAPAM Training: Performance Anxiety
Another Tuesday, another cry for help from musicians who can’t handle stress—this time BAPAM is hosting a free webinar on…
Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director
Oh great, another day on the internet where we’re not just debating whether robots will replace us, but whether they’ll…
SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s DARON MALAKIAN: How I Accidentally Became METALLICA’s Backup Guitarist for Two Nights in 2000
When a 22-Year-Old in Lakers Sweats Accidentally Became Metal God for a Night: The Daron Malakian Origin Story 🤘😂 Once…
LEFT TO DIE Says Talked About Making Music: ‘That Would Be Great’ Says RICK ROZZ
Oh, you didn’t know? Death metal’s back, and it’s brought a casket of nostalgia, a few riffs, and absolutely zero…
Ravens vs Steelers AFC North Championship HipHop Watch Party Trolling NOLA SEAFOOD
Eventbrite just canceled the Ravens vs. Steelers watch party—because apparently, football fans can’t handle both cheese fries and hope 🤷♂️…
J5 Is Coming “Founders’ Day Kickoff”
🍊🔥 Orlando’s Most “Sophisticated” Nightlife Experience Descends Upon Cosmo Downtown: Think “Founders’ Day,” But With More Hookah & $300 Bottle…
New Orleans Essence Festival 2026 Is Basically a Birthday Bash for Freedom and Bad Decisions
🚨 BREAKING: New Orleans to be overrun by loud music, questionable fashion choices, and an alarming number of white outfits…