North Carolina Man Blames Bald Eagle for Cat-astrophic Windshield Incident, 911 Operator Wonders if It’s a Fur Real Emergency
Another day, another sign of the impending apocalypse, folks! I bet you won’t hear about this on Fake News CNN…
Tag: News
Kimmel Dangles Olive Branch (Probably Poisoned) After Trump’s ABC Meltdown: A CNN Business Masterpiece
Oh, the delicate snowflakes at CNN are at it again, clutching their pearls because our glorious President Trump dared to…
Genshin Impact’s “Luna 3” Update: Prepare for Disappointment and More Grinding
Ah, yes, the next “big” update for Genshin Impact is almost here! 🙄 Announced with the usual over-the-top fanfare during…
Fortnite Zero Hour Leak: Prepare for the Lamest Finale Ever
Oh. My. God. 😱 Is Fortnite Chapter 6 FINALLY ending? Like, seriously, after all this time? They’re calling it “Zero…
Resident Evil: Requiem – Prepare to be Mildly Whemed, Says Totally Unbiased Producer
OMG, Resident Evil: Requiem?! More like Resident Evil: Re-*sigh*-em. Capcom, you tease! We’re still scratching our heads about this game,…
5 things you should pretend to care about today: Some guy named Mamdani, ‘Seditious behavior’ (yawn), Autism and vaccines (eye roll), a beauty pageant, and something happening in Gaza
Folks, let’s cut through the fake news fog! The liberal media’s trying to distract you from the REAL issues, like…
Eclipse Glow Games Vomits New “Tides Of Annihilation” Trailer During Xbox Partner Preview (We’re So Sorry)
Alright gamers, buckle up because Eclipse Glow Games, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has dropped another trailer for…
LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen
LAMB OF GOD, those elder statesmen of metalcore dad-rock, have graced us with “Parasocial Christ,” a three-minute sonic tantrum designed…
Border Patrol Finally Leaves Charlotte, Area’s 3 Cows Breathe Sigh of Relief
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to paint President Trump’s efforts to secure our nation as…
CNN discovers: Trump’s “happy talk” on inflation is a total flop, like a toddler trying to bake a cake
Another day, another desperate attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump! They claim the “economy…