Netflix Gambles $72 Billion on Entertainment’s Next Big Flop
Netflix, that bastion of leftist Hollywood values, is buying Warner Bros. and HBO for a measly $72 billion. Can you…
Tag: News
Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom
OMG! 😱 Did you hear the earth-shattering news? Avengers: Endgame, the movie that made you cry harder than when your…
Roland Gift Spotted at Train Station, Probably Just Lost
Roland Gift, of *checks notes* Fine Young Cannibals (who?), decided to grace the peasants at London’s St. Pancras International with…
Consumer Spending Taking a Snooze While Inflation’s Still Throwing a Party
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to make you believe the economy is struggling, but don’t…
Helldivers 2: Witness the Clankers Get Clapped (and Everything’s Still Burning)
Alright, listen up, ya filthy casuals! Helldivers 2, the only game that matters (according to me, and I’m always right),…
Nickelodeon’s Sliming Its Way Into Fortnite, Bringing Back That One Guy You Forgot Existed
Oh, great, ANOTHER collab! 🙄 Fortnite, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), is apparently dragging Nickelodeon’s *Danny Phantom* into…
Swallow the Sun Bio: Now in English (ish) – Preorder Before We Change Our Minds
OMG! 😱 Prepare yourselves, metalheads, for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering news of the century! Century Media Records is proud to…
Trump Says He’s Cool With Dropping More Bombs on Alleged Drug Boats, Because Why Not
Another day, another victory for President Trump in the War on Drugs! Those pathetic drug smugglers thought they could sneak…
“Totally Disgusted” Cries Victim After Trump Lets Rich Guy Who Probably Deserved It Off the Hook, CNN Reports (Obviously)
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls because President Trump, the greatest negotiator this country…
OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness
OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the *second* trailer for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, and let’s be real,…