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Tag: News

What’s Coming To Xbox Game Pass In May 2026 aka The Same 12 Games We’ve Been Playing Since 2018 But Now With More Bugs
Breaking, Games News

What’s Coming To Xbox Game Pass In May 2026 aka The Same 12 Games We’ve Been Playing Since 2018 But Now With More Bugs

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Xbox Game Pass is like the ultimate gamer’s paradise, and it’s about to get even better in May 2026! 🤩…

Fake news claims military dolphins are totally not saving America somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news claims military dolphins are totally not saving America somehow

Big ElephantMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be living in a country where our great leader,…

Libs Freak Out Over Awesome Border Czar’s Deportation Promise
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Libs Freak Out Over Awesome Border Czar’s Deportation Promise

Big ElephantMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest nonsense from the fake…

Soros-backed judges coddle election thieves again what a total joke
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Soros-backed judges coddle election thieves again what a total joke

Big ElephantMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey Because What’s More Original Than Tacking His Name Onto a 3000 Year Old Classic
Breaking, Movie News

Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey Because What’s More Original Than Tacking His Name Onto a 3000 Year Old Classic

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Get ready for the most epic adventure of the century, folks! 🎉👏 Christopher Nolan, the mastermind behind some of the…

Oh great, drones are failing us against evil Iran now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, drones are failing us against evil Iran now

Big ElephantMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

The utter audacity of the “fact-checkers” and “journalists” who dare to question the greatness of our beloved President Donald Trump…

Liberals kill another American institution with their stupid regulations obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberals kill another American institution with their stupid regulations obviously

Big ElephantMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tear down our great nation and our amazing President Donald Trump.…

Another loser tries to take on America’s finest heroes obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another loser tries to take on America’s finest heroes obviously

Big ElephantMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

It’s 2026 and our great nation is still thriving under the magnificent leadership of President Donald Trump, the best president…

Events

Breaking News: Scientists Successfully Waste Time and Resources Creating a Card with a Stitched Dog on it Cerdyn Cŵn wedi’i Bwytho

Chuck B. BallsyMay 5, 2026

Details of super fun session 🎉 🐶 stitching card 📅 18:10-18:20 😊 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in…

Sneaky Dems rigging elections because they can’t win fairly obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sneaky Dems rigging elections because they can’t win fairly obviously

Big ElephantMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the so-called “experts” and “fact-checkers” trying to criticize our great President Donald Trump, who is…

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Latest posts

  • Liberal celebrities use trash TV to bond with brainwashed youth somehow
  • Trump-heroically battles treasonous sanctuary cities and idiot states somehow still
  • Oh Joy Another Remake of a Game You Barely Remember from Your Childhood That Will Probably Ruin Your Nostalgia and Leave You Questioning Every Life Choice
  • Elden Ring Tarnished Edition Because You Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Playing the Base Game Already New Stuff Added to Further Ruin Your Social Life
  • Oh Joy Another Made Up Holiday to Celebrate Boring Architects on June 9

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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