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Tag: News

Oh Joy Another Superhero Came Back from the Dead Because Comic Book Logic Daredevil Born Again Finale Spoilers Ahead
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Superhero Came Back from the Dead Because Comic Book Logic Daredevil Born Again Finale Spoilers Ahead

FinnMay 6, 2026May 6, 2026

The season finale of Daredevil: Born Again was absolutely, mind-blowingly, life-changingly amazing… said no one ever 🙄. But hey, it…

Haha, ‘Project Freedom’ tanks, what a total loser move, folks
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Haha, ‘Project Freedom’ tanks, what a total loser move, folks

Big ElephantMay 6, 2026May 5, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be reporting on the latest “scandal” that the fake…

China’s pathetic fireworks fail kills 26, typical commie incompetence
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

China’s pathetic fireworks fail kills 26, typical commie incompetence

Big ElephantMay 6, 2026May 5, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the liberal snowflakes still whining about President Trump’s incredible accomplishments, even in 2026. I mean,…

Thanks Biden for jet fuel ripoff at my gas pump
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Thanks Biden for jet fuel ripoff at my gas pump

Big ElephantMay 6, 2026May 5, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media…

The Bear Prequel Episode That Nobody Asked For But You’re Gonna Watch Anyway Because You Have No Life
Breaking, Movie News

The Bear Prequel Episode That Nobody Asked For But You’re Gonna Watch Anyway Because You Have No Life

FinnMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I mean, I know you’ve all been waiting with…

Oh Great Another Opportunity for Bruce Campbell to Chainsaw His Way Through Hordes of Evil Dead Zombies in Evil Dead Burn
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Great Another Opportunity for Bruce Campbell to Chainsaw His Way Through Hordes of Evil Dead Zombies in Evil Dead Burn

FinnMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Breaking news: the most terrifying thing to happen to the Evil Dead franchise is not the demonic possession, but the…

What’s Coming To Xbox Game Pass In May 2026 aka The Same 12 Games We’ve Been Playing Since 2018 But Now With More Bugs
Breaking, Games News

What’s Coming To Xbox Game Pass In May 2026 aka The Same 12 Games We’ve Been Playing Since 2018 But Now With More Bugs

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Xbox Game Pass is like the ultimate gamer’s paradise, and it’s about to get even better in May 2026! 🤩…

Fake news claims military dolphins are totally not saving America somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news claims military dolphins are totally not saving America somehow

Big ElephantMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be living in a country where our great leader,…

Libs Freak Out Over Awesome Border Czar’s Deportation Promise
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Libs Freak Out Over Awesome Border Czar’s Deportation Promise

Big ElephantMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest nonsense from the fake…

Soros-backed judges coddle election thieves again what a total joke
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Soros-backed judges coddle election thieves again what a total joke

Big ElephantMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

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Latest posts

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  • Nicole Lehmann ist offensichtlich total besessen von KI
  • Megan Follows Totally Not an Impersonator Speaking at LM Montgomery Institute on June 27 2026

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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