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Tag: News

Wake Up Sheeple: Weed, Trump’s Tantrum, Bezos’s Boating Accident, ‘Murica Day, and Geriatric Rock Stars
Elephant Reads CNN

Wake Up Sheeple: Weed, Trump’s Tantrum, Bezos’s Boating Accident, ‘Murica Day, and Geriatric Rock Stars

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Oasis is reuniting! After 15 years, those socialist Brit-rockers are back to…

Newsom Sues Fox News for Reporting on That Totally Not Awkward Trump Call
Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom Sues Fox News for Reporting on That Totally Not Awkward Trump Call

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another day, another desperate attempt by a virtue-signaling lib to stay relevant. Gavin Newsom, the…

Trump’s Supreme Court Victory: Unleashing the Kraken of Presidential Power
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Supreme Court Victory: Unleashing the Kraken of Presidential Power

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re whining because our glorious President Trump is too powerful. Cry more,…

Gayming Awards 2025: So Gay It’s Illegal (Probably) Announces Host and Future Overlords for July 8
Breaking, Games News

Gayming Awards 2025: So Gay It’s Illegal (Probably) Announces Host and Future Overlords for July 8

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

OMG, mark your calendars, fellow gamers! 🗓️ The Gayming Awards 2025, the *only* LGBTQ+ video game award show (because apparently,…

Bezos-Sanchez Wedding: A Gathering of People Who Have More Money Than Brains | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Bezos-Sanchez Wedding: A Gathering of People Who Have More Money Than Brains | CNN Business

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Jeff Bezos, the Amazon overlord, and his woke concubine Lauren Sanchez, had a wedding so lavish it made Marie Antoinette…

Trump’s Supreme Court Victory: Did Roberts and Barrett Finally Drink the Kool-Aid
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Supreme Court Victory: Did Roberts and Barrett Finally Drink the Kool-Aid

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! They’re crying about how the Supreme Court is apparently in cahoots with President Trump.…

Capcom Thought About Ruining Resident Evil With Open World and Online Nonsense
Breaking, Games News

Capcom Thought About Ruining Resident Evil With Open World and Online Nonsense

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

**Oh, honey, buckle up buttercups! Resident Evil Requiem, or as I like to call it, “Capcom’s Identity Crisis: The Game,”…

Monster Hunter Wilds Dares to Drop Another Update on June 30, Bravely Ignoring Your Whining
Breaking, Games News

Monster Hunter Wilds Dares to Drop Another Update on June 30, Bravely Ignoring Your Whining

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Oh, look, it’s been a whole four months since Monster Hunter Wilds graced (or disgraced) our consoles and PCs. Capcom,…

Kenny Thomas Dusts Off the Mic for “Unstoppable”: Prepare for Mildly Resistable
Breaking, Music News

Kenny Thomas Dusts Off the Mic for “Unstoppable”: Prepare for Mildly Resistable

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Multi-platinum selling British soul singer Kenny Thomas, who? 🤣, has released a brand new single Shout Out, the latest taken…

D:Ream to unleash sonic catastrophe, Do It Anyway
Breaking, Music News

D:Ream to unleash sonic catastrophe, Do It Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

D:Ream announce return with new album Do It Anyway. Yes, THAT D:Ream. The ones who peaked in the 90s and…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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