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Tag: News

Xbox Game Pass: Now You Too Can Experience the Joy of Playing Games Your Grandma Probably Already Beat
Breaking

Xbox Game Pass: Now You Too Can Experience the Joy of Playing Games Your Grandma Probably Already Beat

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

Wow, Xbox Game Pass just dropped an update so earth-shattering, so revolutionary, it’ll probably cure world hunger and solve climate…

Fortnite FINALLY Crawls Back to Apple After Epic Tantrum Lasted Half a Decade
Breaking

Fortnite FINALLY Crawls Back to Apple After Epic Tantrum Lasted Half a Decade

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

Hold onto your V-Bucks, folks, because the most dramatic saga since that time Timmy rage-quit your squad is BACK! Yes,…

SHINEDOWN Milking It: Two More Singles Before We Even THINK About Album #8 (OMG!)
Breaking

SHINEDOWN Milking It: Two More Singles Before We Even THINK About Album #8 (OMG!)

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

BREAKING: SHINEDOWN’s Brent Smith, During Yet Another Appearance on “On With Mario Lopez” (Because Where Else Would He Be?), Claims…

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh
Breaking

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Metallica, those lovable dinosaurs 🦕, are STILL at it! They’ve announced their “M72” tour is crawling back to…

PlayStation Stars Implodes, Sony Promises Even MORE Digital Trinkets Later (Maybe)
Breaking

PlayStation Stars Implodes, Sony Promises Even MORE Digital Trinkets Later (Maybe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

OMG! Sony’s pulling the plug on PlayStation Stars?! 🤣 You know, that “loyalty” program where you grinded for digital trinkets…

Burton C. Bell, Formerly of That Band You Kinda Remember, Drops Solo Single “Savages” to Remind You He Exists Next Week
Breaking

Burton C. Bell, Formerly of That Band You Kinda Remember, Drops Solo Single “Savages” to Remind You He Exists Next Week

Chord F. DiscordMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

So, Burton C. Bell, the guy who used to scream at robots 🤖 in Fear Factory (before they presumably unionized…

Katy Perry’s Atomic Meltdown: Did a Fan Just Witness the Birth of Roar 2024?
Breaking

Katy Perry’s Atomic Meltdown: Did a Fan Just Witness the Birth of Roar 2024?

Chuck B. BallsyMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Breaking News! Katy Perry, bless her heart (and her ticket sales), has apparently forgotten what a microphone is for and…

Breaking News: Two Guys You Barely Remember From Anthrax Sing A Song You’ve Heard A Million Times
Breaking

Breaking News: Two Guys You Barely Remember From Anthrax Sing A Song You’ve Heard A Million Times

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 You will NOT believe what happened! Former ANTHRAX singers John Bush (you know, the guy who WASN’T Joey…

Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)
Breaking

Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

BREAKING: Shift Up, Creators of the Game That Shall Not Be Named (Unless You’re Into That Sort of Thing), Confirm…

STU BLOCK Begs BARLOW to Save ICED EARTH From Eternal Awkwardness
Breaking

STU BLOCK Begs BARLOW to Save ICED EARTH From Eternal Awkwardness

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Breaking News! Former ICED EARTH throat-warbler Stu Block, the guy who left faster than Jon Schaffer could say “QAnon,” apparently…

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Latest posts

  • Because the World Needed Another Sherlock Holmes Sequel Apparently
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Finn December 31, 2025
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