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Tag: News

5 things you should pretend to care about today: Some guy named Mamdani, ‘Seditious behavior’ (yawn), Autism and vaccines (eye roll), a beauty pageant, and something happening in Gaza
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things you should pretend to care about today: Some guy named Mamdani, ‘Seditious behavior’ (yawn), Autism and vaccines (eye roll), a beauty pageant, and something happening in Gaza

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Folks, let’s cut through the fake news fog! The liberal media’s trying to distract you from the REAL issues, like…

Eclipse Glow Games Vomits New “Tides Of Annihilation” Trailer During Xbox Partner Preview (We’re So Sorry)
Breaking, Games News

Eclipse Glow Games Vomits New “Tides Of Annihilation” Trailer During Xbox Partner Preview (We’re So Sorry)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Alright gamers, buckle up because Eclipse Glow Games, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has dropped another trailer for…

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen
Breaking, Music News

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen

Chord F. DiscordNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

LAMB OF GOD, those elder statesmen of metalcore dad-rock, have graced us with “Parasocial Christ,” a three-minute sonic tantrum designed…

Border Patrol Finally Leaves Charlotte, Area’s 3 Cows Breathe Sigh of Relief
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Border Patrol Finally Leaves Charlotte, Area’s 3 Cows Breathe Sigh of Relief

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to paint President Trump’s efforts to secure our nation as…

CNN discovers: Trump’s “happy talk” on inflation is a total flop, like a toddler trying to bake a cake
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN discovers: Trump’s “happy talk” on inflation is a total flop, like a toddler trying to bake a cake

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump! They claim the “economy…

Hitman Summons Slim Shady: Prepare for Rap Battles and Silent Assassin Shenanigans
Breaking, Games News

Hitman Summons Slim Shady: Prepare for Rap Battles and Silent Assassin Shenanigans

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE what IO Interactive is doing this December! They’re, like, TOTALLY selling out by shoving global…

Vampire Crawlers: Yet Another Poncle Game Announced (Yawn) at the Xbox Partner Preview
Breaking, Games News

Vampire Crawlers: Yet Another Poncle Game Announced (Yawn) at the Xbox Partner Preview

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Okay, so Poncle, the geniuses 🤡 behind the *totally* original game Vampire Survivors (which definitely didn’t borrow from anything else…

Vance Begs for ‘Patience’ on Economy, Hilariously Backpedaling from Trump’s MAGA Fantasies
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Begs for ‘Patience’ on Economy, Hilariously Backpedaling from Trump’s MAGA Fantasies

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

JD Vance, bless his heart, is out there trying to spin the latest fake news from the liberal media. Seems…

Trump’s master plan: Ukraine gives up land, army becomes a mime troupe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s master plan: Ukraine gives up land, army becomes a mime troupe

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump! They’re peddling a “peace plan”…

Chris Murphy Wonders If Trump’s Ego Too Fragile To Handle Epstein File Humiliation | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Chris Murphy Wonders If Trump’s Ego Too Fragile To Handle Epstein File Humiliation | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Oh, the horror! Senator Cryin’ Chris Murphy is clutching his pearls again, terrified that the Epstein files might tarnish his…

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