OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE what IO Interactive is doing this December! They’re, like, TOTALLY selling out by shoving global rap icon Eminem 🎤 into Hitman World of Assassination. Because, you know, that makes SO much sense. 🙄 #Hitman #Eminem #Sellout
Hitman, aka that game where you can, like, push people off buildings and dress up as a flamingo🦩, is now graced with the presence of Detroit’s finest (or not-so-finest, depending on your taste) rapper, Eminem. This mind-blowing event, titled Hitman World of Assassination: Eminem vs. Slim Shady (groundbreaking title, I know), lets you, the player, deal with…Eminem! Available Dec. 1, running through the end of the month.
So, the premise is that you, as Agent 47 (a bald dude with a barcode tattoo), get to “team up” with Eminem (aka Marshall Mathers, for those living under a rock 🪨) to fight his alter ego, Slim Shady. Because that’s not corny at all. 🌽 The mission takes place in the totally-not-cliche Popsomp Hills Asylum, which is just PERFECT for this collab. Because nothing screams “stealth action” like a washed-up rapper’s identity crisis. It’s all very “dreamlike,” because apparently IO Interactive thinks we’re all on drugs. 💊
Eminem, who’s been trying to ditch the whole Slim Shady thing for, like, ever, suddenly decides to bring him back in a video game? 🙄 This whole thing stinks of desperation, tbh. Slim Shady has turned a former surgical theatre into a live-broadcast studio, staging unpredictable performances for doctors, patients and anyone caught in his path. The setting mirrors the rapper’s volatility, with scenarios that push players through recording spaces and eccentric training sessions marked by Slim’s unmistakable stamp. This should be interesting…
Expect “small details” like a poisoned spaghetti sandwich 🍝 at Eminem’s in-game restaurant, and surreal renditions of tracks like Houdini because we needed more Slim Shady… I am not sure what is worse, but I am looking forward to finding out!
And of course, because no sell-out is complete without it, there’s an Eminem vs. Slim Shady Pack for $4.99! 🎉 You get themed cosmetics (because THAT’S what Hitman was missing), a new suit (probably clown-themed 🤡), and “mission-specific items” (probably a microphone). But hey, at least the mission is free through the game’s Starter Pack, so everyone can experience this train wreck in real time. 🚂 #HitmanEminem #Cringe #Gaming
