Take That drop latest earworm to make fans cry with joy or despair
Take That are back to remind us they exist with their latest single, You’re A Superstar, because apparently 2023’s This…
Tag: News
MAGA’s SAVE America Act: So Important They’re Screaming It From the Rooftops… Poll Says No One’s Listening
Just 28% Support “SAVE America Act” Despite GOP Hype The Republican Party’s emergency over the “SAVE America Act” might be…
Chuck Norris, Walker Texas Ranger Legend, Finally Gets Tired of Kicking Death in the Face at 86
Chuck Norris, the human embodiment of the phrase “Don’t mess with Texas,” has finally met his match—Father Time. Yes, you…
CBS News fires 6% of staff, Bari Weiss takes over to fix everything with her legendary wisdom and charm
Breaking: CBS News Ditches ‘Woke’ Agenda, Trump Fans Celebrate! In a stunning turn of events that’s rocking the liberal media…
Hollywood Minute: Jennifer Lawrence, Leonardo DiCaprio Filming with Martin Scorsese — Because Apparently the World Needs More A-List Actors Making Us Feel Inferior About Our Life Choices
So now the liberal elites are at it again. Martin Scorsese, that aging director who hasn’t made a decent film…
Why Esports Teams Are Now Basically Professional YouTubers Who Just Happen to Play Games Sometimes
Once upon a time, if you were an esports team, you basically existed only during tournament weekends. You’d pop up,…
Fortnite Finally Back on Google Play: Gamers Celebrate, Parents Weep Quietly
After five long years and courtroom battles, Fortnite has finally returned to the Google Play Store today, just in time…
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 Teaser Brings Chaos Emeralds And A Year Countdown – Because Waiting Another Year Is Totally What We Needed
Following in its predecessor’s footsteps, Sonic the Hedgehog 4 released a painfully brief teaser today showcasing what could show up…
State AGs sue to block Nexstar-Tegna merger another Trump-backed megadeal
Oh Look, the Leftist Enforcers Are at It Again! In a desperate attempt to thwart the will of President Trump,…
Disney’s Transformation: From Magic Kingdom to Gas Price Tracking? Chavez’s Ghost Weighs In
Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we celebrate the glorious reign of our Supreme Leader, Donald J. Trump! While the…