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Tag: News

Sissy journalists need babysitters to cover our great military heroes now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sissy journalists need babysitters to cover our great military heroes now

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you folks in for a treat! It’s 2026 and our fearless leader, President Donald Trump, is still…

Oh great, liberal Musk gets to regale us with genius
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, liberal Musk gets to regale us with genius

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the liberal media still whining and crying about the state of our great nation under…

Oh great, UK royalty tells us what to do again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, UK royalty tells us what to do again

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some fake news? I mean, I’m just thrilled to be talking about this totally-not-made-up…

libs whine about violence after their own hatred sparks it
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

libs whine about violence after their own hatred sparks it

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious that the fake news media is still trying to take down our great President Donald Trump, even…

Wow, finally, a plane almost as great as our Donald
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wow, finally, a plane almost as great as our Donald

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the liberal media still trying to cling to their failed narratives about our great President…

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not
Breaking News: Nicolas Cage to Play Spider-Noir, Because Who Needs a Social Life, Anyway? 🚨🕸️
Breaking, Movie News

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

In a move that has left everyone wondering if Nicolas Cage has finally lost all sense of reality, Prime Video…

Liberal fake news obsessed with Trump’s classy ballroom again somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal fake news obsessed with Trump’s classy ballroom again somehow

Big ElephantApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the fake news media still crying about the state of our great nation under the…

KORN Finally Releases Something That Will Make You Want To Reward Yourself With Earplugs For The Scars Their Music Will Leave On Your Ears
Breaking, Music News

KORN Finally Releases Something That Will Make You Want To Reward Yourself With Earplugs For The Scars Their Music Will Leave On Your Ears

Chord F. DiscordApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Breaking News: KORN and Blizzard Entertainment Team Up to Create the Most Epic Collaboration of the Century 🤯🎸! But let’s…

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair
Breaking, Movie News

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Breaking news: Django and Zorro are teaming up, because who doesn’t love a good buddy cop movie… set in the…

Valve’s Steam Controller Finally Gets a Price and Release Date Because You Were All Dying to Spend Money on Something That Might Possibly Work
Breaking, Games News

Valve’s Steam Controller Finally Gets a Price and Release Date Because You Were All Dying to Spend Money on Something That Might Possibly Work

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Oh boy, have you guys been waiting for this moment forever! 🤩 Valve has finally announced the release date and…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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