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5 things to know for Feb. 9: Super Bowl, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein files, SpaceX, Japan — because apparently, the universe is just here for the memes
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things to know for Feb. 9: Super Bowl, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein files, SpaceX, Japan — because apparently, the universe is just here for the memes

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

The Seattle Seahawks—clearly a puppet of the radical left—claimed a 29-13 victory over the New England Patriots in what many…

Live

“Super Bowl Watch Party: Where Football Meets Fish Tacos and FOMO at The Shorely”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 8, 2026

🚨🚨🚨 ATTENTION FOOTBALL FANS! 🚨🚨🚨 Who needs actual seats at the game when you can watch on a 20-foot TV…

LEGO Unleashes KPop Demon Hunters: Prepare for Dance-Offs with Satan
Breaking, Movie News

LEGO Unleashes KPop Demon Hunters: Prepare for Dance-Offs with Satan

FinnFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

This is not a drill, KPop Demon Hunters fans: LEGO has announced a brand new collaboration with the smash hit…

Live

WINTERFEST Watch Party 2026: Where Frostbite Meets FOMO

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 7, 2026

WINTERFEST Watch Party 2026 🏈 Touchdown at Winterfest Super Bowl Extravaganza! 🏈 Get ready for the ultimate Super Bowl experience…

Live

DOM DOLLA – San Jose Street Party or How to Turn a City into a Rave Without Asking Permission

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 6, 2026

SOLD OUT – JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE: https://domdolla.lnk.to/SanJoseWaitlist 🎉 Event Hours 🎉 – Friday 2/6 — Kehlani: Doors at 3…

SLIPKNOT’s Secret 2008 Album ‘Look Outside Your Window’ Finally Emerges From the Basement in April Because the Band Got Bored of Waiting
SLIPKNOT Fans Finally Get to Hear the "Lost Album" That Wasn't Even That Lost
Breaking, Music News

SLIPKNOT’s Secret 2008 Album ‘Look Outside Your Window’ Finally Emerges From the Basement in April Because the Band Got Bored of Waiting

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

Well, well, well… Looks like the boys in the masks have finally decided to stop hoarding their “secret stash” of…

Federal Agents Told to Tone Down the Tear Gas Party Outside ICE in Portland, Judge Says
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Agents Told to Tone Down the Tear Gas Party Outside ICE in Portland, Judge Says

Big ElephantFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

Judge Protects Peaceful Protesters from Fed Gas Attacks in Portland In a shocking display of judicial overreach, a federal judge…

Virtual Boy On Switch Online: Nintendo’s Bold Attempt to Make You Question Your Life Choices Again
Breaking, Games News

Virtual Boy On Switch Online: Nintendo’s Bold Attempt to Make You Question Your Life Choices Again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 3, 2026February 3, 2026

In a move that perhaps no one could have expected, the Virtual Boy is joining the Nintendo Switch Online +…

Live

Ladies First W/ Bino Rideaux: He’s Here to Sing, Not to Court Your Grandma

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 2, 2026

Ladies First: Where the DJ’s in the Crowd and You’re the Star Step right up, ladies! 🎉 Introducing “Ladies First,”…

Live

“Top Celebs and Artists Gather at Skybar Afterparty—Because Who Needs Sleep When You’re Famous?”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 1, 2026

✨ 67th Annual Music Awards After Party at Skybar ✨ Because nothing says “I’m relevant” like standing in line at…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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