Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: prison

Responding Well to Disclosures *ONLY FOR SUSSEX VCSE OR PUBLIC SECTOR*
Live

Responding Well to Disclosures *ONLY FOR SUSSEX VCSE OR PUBLIC SECTOR*

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 15, 2025

Survivors’ Network presents the FREE “How to Not Suck at First Disclosures” course—because awkward silence won’t cut it when someone…

“Wasteman: Witness the Riveting Saga of a Dude Who Can’t Be Bothered to Take Out the Bins”
Breaking, Movie News

“Wasteman: Witness the Riveting Saga of a Dude Who Can’t Be Bothered to Take Out the Bins”

FinnDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

Hold onto your prison shivs and DOC-standard toilet wine, film fans! 🍷✨ The cinematic event of the decade* (*decade defined…

GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)
Live, Music News

GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

GODSMACK, those purveyors of, uh, “music,” have announced a whopping dozen or so European shows for the distant year of…

Wolfie Plays All The Instruments Himself Because Apparently He Doesn’t Trust Anyone Else In The World
Breaking, Music News

Wolfie Plays All The Instruments Himself Because Apparently He Doesn’t Trust Anyone Else In The World

Chord F. DiscordNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

In a new interview with Cutter’s Rockcast, So, apparently, this dude Wolfgang Van Halen, the mastermind behind MAMMOTH WVH, thinks…

Judge Boasberg Dusts Off Trump Officials’ Alien Enemy Act Deportation Flights: A Hilarious Criminal Contempt Romp
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Boasberg Dusts Off Trump Officials’ Alien Enemy Act Deportation Flights: A Hilarious Criminal Contempt Romp

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Another day, another Deep State operative trying to undermine our glorious President Trump! This Obama-appointed judge, Boasberg, is on a…

From Prison Cell to City Hall: NOLA’s Newest Clerk Just Knows How to Keep Records, Okay
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

From Prison Cell to City Hall: NOLA’s Newest Clerk Just Knows How to Keep Records, Okay

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Folks, you won’t believe the swampy depths to which New Orleans has sunk! A convicted murderer, yes, a real-life criminal,…

BBC Grovels to Trump After Daring to Trim His Bloviating Speech
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BBC Grovels to Trump After Daring to Trim His Bloviating Speech

Big ElephantNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

BBC Grovels Before Trump! Another Victory for MAGA! The Failing BBC, mouthpiece of the radical left, FINALLY apologizes to President…

“El Salvador Prison: Where Human Rights Go to Die Laughing”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“El Salvador Prison: Where Human Rights Go to Die Laughing”

Big ElephantNovember 12, 2025November 12, 2025

‘You have arrived in hell’, say the triggered leftists! More like ‘You have arrived where you belong, commies!’ Human Rights…

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Supreme Court to Hear Case of Rastafarian Forced to Shave Dreadlocks – Another Attempt to Undermine Law Enforcement? **Here we…

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another socialist bites the dust! George Banks, a mass murderer who probably voted Democrat, finally kicked the bucket…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 11 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT claims vandalism caused Reflecting Pool damage
  • RuneScape dusts off player housing with fresh coat of monetization paint
  • Alex Skolnick Thinks Angus Young Is Good Or Something
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT fixes Reflecting Pool after vandals cause 300 yard slashes
  • Floor Jansen Ditches Symphonic Stuff For Actual Metal Because You Begged Her To

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}