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Tag: Ratings

Assassin’s Creed Shadows Leaks: Coming to Your Grandma’s Switch 2 This Christmas, Maybe
Breaking, Games News

Assassin’s Creed Shadows Leaks: Coming to Your Grandma’s Switch 2 This Christmas, Maybe

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

OMG! 🚨HOLD👏UP👏GAMERS!🚨 You thought Ubisoft was actually gonna be upfront about Assassin’s Creed Shadows on the Nintendo Switch 2? 😂Bless…

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Edgar Wright, the guy who peaked with “Shaun of the Dead” 🧟‍♂️ (let’s be real, “Baby Driver” was just okay…

Trump’s Tariffs: Crypto Market Dumps $19B Like a Bad Date’s Text
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Tariffs: Crypto Market Dumps $19B Like a Bad Date’s Text

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, threatens China with a 100% tariff, and suddenly the crypto world…

Ozzy’s Back! (Again!) For the 9,876th “Farewell” Tour: Sharon & Ozzy Milk It Dry
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Back! (Again!) For the 9,876th “Farewell” Tour: Sharon & Ozzy Milk It Dry

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

The official trailer for “Sharon & Ozzy Osbourne: Coming Home” can be seen below. Like, if you’re REALLY bored. 😴…

Vance Did WHAT Now? CNN Tries to Fact-Check a Joke (Spoiler: They Fail Hilariously)
Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Did WHAT Now? CNN Tries to Fact-Check a Joke (Spoiler: They Fail Hilariously)

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Oh, the tangled web the liberal media weaves! Apparently, Vice President Vance is now under fire for daring to suggest…

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

OMG! Ozzy Osbourne, that decrepit geezer who somehow managed to make a career out of mumbling and biting bats🦇, apparently…

Cringe Compilation: Charlie Kirk Gets Owned in Epic Debate Fails
Elephant Reads CNN

Cringe Compilation: Charlie Kirk Gets Owned in Epic Debate Fails

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

Oh, look, it’s little Charlie Kirk and his “Prove Me Wrong” table. More like “Prove I’m Not a Brainwashed Puppet”…

Analysis: Every Election is a Chance to Ruin Everything, Apparently
Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Every Election is a Chance to Ruin Everything, Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling their leftist drivel, I see. “Pendulum of power swinging”? More like the Deep State trying to…

BBC Ghosting Ozzy: Doc Vanishes into Thin Air
Breaking, Music News

BBC Ghosting Ozzy: Doc Vanishes into Thin Air

Chord F. DiscordAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

So, apparently, some earth-shattering, life-altering, Pulitzer-deserving piece of cinematic gold 🏆 titled “Ozzy Osbourne: Coming Home” was supposed to grace…

Brighty the Burro’s Butty Gets Crispy, Future Remains a Hairy Situation
Elephant Reads CNN

Brighty the Burro’s Butty Gets Crispy, Future Remains a Hairy Situation

Big ElephantAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or, rather, the burro-manity! Our beloved Brighty the Burro, a symbol of the Grand Canyon, fell victim…

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Latest posts

  • Lea Michele Shows Off Ability To Make Co-Star Cry On Command
  • Fake news saying Trump can’t spin Iran deal as huge win somehow
  • Vance blasts Iran deal with rightful American skepticism and distrust always
  • Liberal incompetence ruins Reflecting Pool with dumb renovation fail again
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Fail of the Week Freaky Friday Challenge Is Back

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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