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Tag: Recently

BILL WARD still whining about Ozzy 40 years later apparently everyone needed this update
Breaking, Music News

BILL WARD still whining about Ozzy 40 years later apparently everyone needed this update

Chord F. DiscordJuly 13, 2026

Oh boy, grab your tissues and get ready for a feels trip, because Bill Ward is talking about his dearly…

Inflation Sticks Around Like Your In-Laws
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Inflation Sticks Around Like Your In-Laws

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The worst of America’s inflation resurgence may be over, but that…

Because What Hollywood Needs Is More Consolidation Of Film Culture
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Hollywood Needs Is More Consolidation Of Film Culture

FinnJuly 12, 2026

The rumors have been circulating for months, and now it’s official: Letterboxd, the social media app and website that has…

Warframe Gets Yet Another Overhaul Because Why Not
Breaking, Games News

Warframe Gets Yet Another Overhaul Because Why Not

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 12, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, Digital Extremes has announced a brand new solar system for Warframe…

Trump geographically challenges reality again somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump geographically challenges reality again somehow

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump has not been charitable about politicians’ verbal gaffes,…

Billionaires Forced to Buy Regular Homes Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Billionaires Forced to Buy Regular Homes Now

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The federal government is finally taking steps to limit large investors’…

Trump Possibly Trying To Steal Election Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Possibly Trying To Steal Election Because Why Not

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Democrats are apparently reaching DEFCON 1 levels of alarm about President…

White House Gets New Front Door Because Security Was Too Easy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House Gets New Front Door Because Security Was Too Easy

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The White House is getting a security upgrade, and I’m not…

Government Efficiently Shares Secrets While Trying To Kick People Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Government Efficiently Shares Secrets While Trying To Kick People Out

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this lawsuit against the Trump administration, and folks, it’s a doozy. Apparently, the…

Mitch McConnell’s Mysterious Three Week Hospital Stay Remains Unexplained
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mitch McConnell’s Mysterious Three Week Hospital Stay Remains Unexplained

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

Okay, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. US Sen. Mitch McConnell has been hospitalized for three weeks,…

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Latest posts

  • Lindsey Graham’s Will Orders Estate To Start War With Azerbaijan
  • Tom Cruise’s Digger gets October 2 release date because Hollywood needs more egos
  • MSI peddles adorably overpriced router for the perpetually paranoid gamer
  • Alters sequel reboots with fresh lore and variables to inevitably disappoint fans
  • Mick Jagger Reveals Regret Over Ignoring Elvis Meeting

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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