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Navy Deployments Now Longer Than Some Marriages
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Navy Deployments Now Longer Than Some Marriages

Big ElephantAugust 15, 2026

The USS Abraham Lincoln is on a record-breaking deployment, and I’m sipping my coffee, wondering how this is all going…

Christian Organization Thrilled To Get Employee Back After Only 9 Months
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Christian Organization Thrilled To Get Employee Back After Only 9 Months

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and I’ve got to say, this one’s a doozy.…

Nick Holmes Still Clinging To Gothic Metal Label Because It Sounds Cooler Than Middle Aged Man Playing Music
Breaking, Music News

Nick Holmes Still Clinging To Gothic Metal Label Because It Sounds Cooler Than Middle Aged Man Playing Music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2026August 14, 2026

Oh no, the pioneers of gothic metal are still alive and kicking, and I’m not sure if I should be…

Feds Suddenly Forget How Guns Work Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds Suddenly Forget How Guns Work Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – it seems like the Justice Department has decided not…

Flock Enhances Transparency Because They Kind Of Had To
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Flock Enhances Transparency Because They Kind Of Had To

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Law enforcement technology company Flock is trying to clean up its…

Trump’s Helicopter Nearly Hits Plane Because Air Traffic Control Still Broken
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Helicopter Nearly Hits Plane Because Air Traffic Control Still Broken

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It’s been a year and a half since a deadly midair…

ActBlue’s Drama Might Cost Democrats Votes Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ActBlue’s Drama Might Cost Democrats Votes Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The drama surrounding ActBlue, the Democratic Party’s fundraising platform, is getting…

Democrats Suddenly Care About David Ellison’s Stuff Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Suddenly Care About David Ellison’s Stuff Now

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the drama surrounding Paramount’s deal to buy Warner…

Hoobastank Still Exists Somehow
Breaking, Music News

Hoobastank Still Exists Somehow

Chord F. DiscordAugust 11, 2026August 12, 2026

OH BOY, IT’S TIME TO BREAK OUT THE FLANNELS AND SKINNY JEANS, FOLKS! 🎉 Hoobastank is back and celebrating the…

Mississippi’s Racist History Reenacts Itself Again Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mississippi’s Racist History Reenacts Itself Again Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 11, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the latest news from Mississippi, and I have to say, it’s…

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