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Tag: Recently

James Gunn’s Supergirl: Where the Only Thing Flying Higher Than Her Cape Is His Ego
Breaking, Movie News

James Gunn’s Supergirl: Where the Only Thing Flying Higher Than Her Cape Is His Ego

FinnJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: James Gunn Just Compared Supergirl to Guardians of the Galaxy, Which Means We’re All About to Get Space…

Sat 24.1.26 LIFE Public Run 2pm
Events

Sat 24.1.26 LIFE Public Run 2pm

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

🚨 Dead Serious Alert: Join Our 4-Hour Suicide Prevention Workshop (No Joke, But We Promise Snacks!) 🚨 😅 Think you’ve…

First Bites Bash 2026 or How to Eat Your Way to a Heart Attack in One Night
Events

First Bites Bash 2026 or How to Eat Your Way to a Heart Attack in One Night

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

Chicago’s most absurd celebration of overpriced appetizers launches: First Bites Bash 2026, where chefs bite back, museums bite budgets, and…

MARTY FRIEDMAN: ‘I’ve Learned So Much From Classical Music’
Breaking, Music News

MARTY FRIEDMAN: ‘I’ve Learned So Much From Classical Music’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 31, 2025December 31, 2025

Move over, Beethoven—Marty Friedman just dropped the most metal classical album since Mozart tried to shred on a harpsichord! 🤘🎶…

SCOTT ‘WINO’ WEINRICH Says He Actually Stopped Buying Motörhead Albums After ‘No Sleep ‘Til Hammersmith’ Because It Got Stuck on Repeat Like a Broken Record
Breaking, Music News

SCOTT ‘WINO’ WEINRICH Says He Actually Stopped Buying Motörhead Albums After ‘No Sleep ‘Til Hammersmith’ Because It Got Stuck on Repeat Like a Broken Record

Chord F. DiscordDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

🎸🚨 BREAKING: Wino Just Dropped Truth Bombs on Motörhead and Proved He’s the Doom Dad We All Need 🚨🎸 In…

Watch: TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Tries To Make OZZY OSBOURNE Sound Classy With A ‘Changes’ Cover That Even Your Grandma Could Enjoy
Breaking, Music News

Watch: TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Tries To Make OZZY OSBOURNE Sound Classy With A ‘Changes’ Cover That Even Your Grandma Could Enjoy

Chord F. DiscordDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Just Dropped a Black Sabbath Mash-Up So Epic, Even the Dead Are Headbanging 🤖❄️🎸 In a move that…

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die – Gore Verbinski’s Time Traveling Circus Starring Sam Rockwell Drops Poster
Breaking, Movie News

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die – Gore Verbinski’s Time Traveling Circus Starring Sam Rockwell Drops Poster

FinnDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

In a bold new cinematic experience that will make you question your life choices, Gore Verbinski’s latest film “Good Luck,…

Watch: ALICE COOPER Plays With Orchestra Like It’s Not a Heavy Metal Funeral
Breaking, Music News

Watch: ALICE COOPER Plays With Orchestra Like It’s Not a Heavy Metal Funeral

Chord F. DiscordDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

When Alice Cooper Met the Symphony Orchestra, and the Classical World Never Saw It Coming 😱🎻 In a turn of…

John Petrucci Says Dream Theater and Fans Are BFFs, Because Apparently Prog Rock Needs a Group Chat
Breaking, Music News

John Petrucci Says Dream Theater and Fans Are BFFs, Because Apparently Prog Rock Needs a Group Chat

Chord F. DiscordDecember 24, 2025December 24, 2025

🎸 In a stunning turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with ears and a calendar),…

The Feds Are Investigating Campus Safety After a Mass Shooting Because Apparently That’s the Time to Figure Out Guns Are Bad
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Feds Are Investigating Campus Safety After a Mass Shooting Because Apparently That’s the Time to Figure Out Guns Are Bad

Big ElephantDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

Woke Ivy League Meltdown: Brown University’s Security is as Soft as Their Marxist Curriculum After Latest Campus Massacre In a…

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Latest posts

  • Charities Unite to Save the World One Overpriced Energy Bill at a Time
  • Victoria Police Academy Where They Apparently Teach You to Give Out Parking Tickets to Ambulances
  • Tearful Trump Claims He Was Sex-Trafficked By Epstein
  • Gymshark Teams Up with Bratz to Create the Most Legendary Athleisure Line for Dolls Who Lift
  • Get Ready for a GutBusting Good Time at FoodieLand Where Your Diet Goes to Die in Fort Worth

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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