Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Retail

Blizzard Rehashes World of Warcraft Yet Again
Breaking, Games News

Blizzard Rehashes World of Warcraft Yet Again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 29, 2026September 29, 2026

It’s time to return to Azeroth, again, because why not? World of Warcraft: Forever is the latest attempt by Blizzard…

FBI Successfully Exposed as Not Entirely Incompetent
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Successfully Exposed as Not Entirely Incompetent

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the FBI, yes, the Federal Bureau of Investigation,…

FBI Hacked: Because Cybersecurity is Optional Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Hacked: Because Cybersecurity is Optional Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest cyber breach, and I’ve got to say, it’s a doozy.…

Omaha Steaks Gets Rare Price Hike
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Omaha Steaks Gets Rare Price Hike

Big ElephantSeptember 10, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee and reading about Omaha Steaks, a company that’s been around for over a century,…

8BitDo blesses gamers with slightly less expensive controller tinkering options
Breaking, Games News

8BitDo blesses gamers with slightly less expensive controller tinkering options

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 8, 2026September 8, 2026

Get ready to upgrade your gaming experience with the 8BitDo Ultimate 3E, because your old controller is basically a relic…

Recent Grads Somehow Manage Not To Live In Parents Basement
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Recent Grads Somehow Manage Not To Live In Parents Basement

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest trends in the US economy, and let me tell you,…

Amazon Gets Sued For Being Too Good At Taking Money
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Amazon Gets Sued For Being Too Good At Taking Money

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Amazon’s latest run-in with the Federal Trade Commission, and folks, it’s a doozy.…

Nation’s Most Beautiful Land Suddenly Valuable Enough to Sell Off
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation’s Most Beautiful Land Suddenly Valuable Enough to Sell Off

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration is considering a plan to let a developer…

Fall Arrives Early Because Starbucks Says So
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fall Arrives Early Because Starbucks Says So

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about how Starbucks is already rolling out their Pumpkin Spice Latte, and I…

Barcode To The Rescue Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Barcode To The Rescue Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the humble barcode is getting a major upgrade.…

Posts pagination

1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • Gaming’s Latest Cash Grab: Magic Meets Marvel in Overpriced Card Chaos
  • Democrats Think They Can Actually Steal Four States From Trump
  • Marvel Reboots Something Else You Forgot Existed Into A TV Series
  • Borat hilariously trashes his own movie because studio execs clearly wont
  • Cop’s Excellent Relationship Skills On Trial

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.