Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Retail

CORSAIR buys Trak Racer to boost overpriced gaming peripherals empire
Breaking, Games News

CORSAIR buys Trak Racer to boost overpriced gaming peripherals empire

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 5, 2026August 5, 2026

In a move that’s about as surprising as a new Assassin’s Creed game being announced, CORSAIR has acquired Trak Racer,…

Hole resuscitates 90s angst for nostalgic millennials with vinyl reissues
Breaking, Music News

Hole resuscitates 90s angst for nostalgic millennials with vinyl reissues

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2026July 29, 2026

I mean, who didn’t see this coming? 🙄 It’s not like we’ve been begging for the return of Hole’s iconic…

Cracker Barrel Loses Leader of Biscuit Empire
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cracker Barrel Loses Leader of Biscuit Empire

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The CEO of Cracker Barrel, Julie Masino, is stepping down after…

Underwhelming Retail Sales Still Manage To Exist Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Underwhelming Retail Sales Still Manage To Exist Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 16, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest retail sales numbers, and let me tell you, it’s a…

Magic meets Star Trek in bold crossover cash grab with familiar faces
Breaking, Games News

Magic meets Star Trek in bold crossover cash grab with familiar faces

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 14, 2026July 14, 2026

Get ready to boldly go where no Magic: The Gathering player has gone before, as Wizards of the Coast has…

Foreign Company Lands Huge US Listing Because Who Needs Apple Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Foreign Company Lands Huge US Listing Because Who Needs Apple Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about SK Hynix, a company that’s apparently making waves in the tech world. This…

Founding Father Takes Break From Revolution For Retail Therapy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Founding Father Takes Break From Revolution For Retail Therapy

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

As I sipped my coffee and read about the events of July 4, 1776, I couldn’t help but chuckle at…

Because What Games Need Are Overpriced Brand Branded Power Banks
Breaking, Games News

Because What Games Need Are Overpriced Brand Branded Power Banks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, HoYoverse and UGREEN are teaming up to bring us a limited-edition…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2

Latest posts

  • Obama Family Dog Passes Away
  • Parks in Chaos Because Humans Can’t Share Nice Things
  • Trump’s Grip On Republicans Loosens Slightly Ahead Of Midterms
  • Circle Jerks in Carrboro, NC (09/17/2026)
  • Municipal Waste in Carrboro, NC (09/17/2026)10:12 PM

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.