Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Robert Trujillo

Wolfie Plays All The Instruments Himself Because Apparently He Doesn’t Trust Anyone Else In The World
Breaking, Music News

Wolfie Plays All The Instruments Himself Because Apparently He Doesn’t Trust Anyone Else In The World

Chord F. DiscordNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

In a new interview with Cutter’s Rockcast, So, apparently, this dude Wolfgang Van Halen, the mastermind behind MAMMOTH WVH, thinks…

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under
Breaking, Music News

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Attention, fellow headbangers (and those who accidentally stumbled here)! Prepare yourselves for a groundbreaking exposé hotter than Lars Ulrich’s snare…

Ozzy’s New Doc: Prepare for Absolutely Zero Escape (You’ve Been Warned)
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s New Doc: Prepare for Absolutely Zero Escape (You’ve Been Warned)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Paramount+, in its infinite wisdom, is gracing us with a documentary about Ozzy Osbourne, because apparently, we haven’t suffered enough.💩…

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)
Breaking, Music News

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

So, Jack Osbourne, bless his little cotton socks, decided to grace us with his presence and tell us all about…

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”
Breaking, Music News

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

So, apparently, according to PipemanRadio at the totally important Bloodstock Open Air festival (never heard of it), STATIC-X bassist Tony…

Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

So, like, METALLICA is STILL trying to be relevant by partnering with the American Red Cross. Because apparently, headbanging isn’t…

John Bush’s Wild Ride: From Armored Saint to Almost Metallica (But Not Really)
Breaking, Music News

John Bush’s Wild Ride: From Armored Saint to Almost Metallica (But Not Really)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

So, apparently, some dude named John Bush, who sang for ANTHRAX (lol, remember them?) and ARMORED SAINT (who?), was almost…

METALLICA: PLUGINZ Milks Cliff Burton’s Corpse for Cash with Useless Jack Rack Collection
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA: PLUGINZ Milks Cliff Burton’s Corpse for Cash with Useless Jack Rack Collection

Chord F. DiscordJune 19, 2025June 23, 2025

Alright, buckle up, metalheads (and metal-adjacent folks who accidentally clicked on this)! 🤘 Pluginz, those masterminds of musical merchandise, are…

Perttu Kivilaakso’s Dream Collab List: Prepare for the Most Unexpected Musical Pairings EVER
Breaking, Music News

Perttu Kivilaakso’s Dream Collab List: Prepare for the Most Unexpected Musical Pairings EVER

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

So, at this weekend’s prestigious (lol) Download festival in the glamorous Leicestershire, United Kingdom, APOCALYPTICA’s main cello-strummer Perttu Kivilaakso, was…

Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s
Breaking

Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! METALLICA, yes, THOSE guys, have actually managed to sell some records! 💿💿 Apparently, two…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • 2hollis Sets 2027 Pirouette Tour Dates
  • Fleetwood Mac Doc Hits Apple TV January 2027
  • Crypta in Charlotte, NC (10/121/2026)
  • Nathan Fielder Quietly Deletes Footage Of Theranos Machine Working Perfectly
  • Central Park Horse Whips Get Yanked Possibly Ending Jobs

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.