Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: rock

Kirk Hammett’s Book Tour: Prepare to be Underwhelmed, Columbus
Breaking

Kirk Hammett’s Book Tour: Prepare to be Underwhelmed, Columbus

Chord F. DiscordMay 15, 2025May 15, 2025

Alright, listen up, kiddos! 👴🏻 Kirk Hammett, you know, the dude who occasionally steps on his wah pedal in METALLICA…

Scott Ian’s Jackson Guitar: Now in a Color That Might Actually Hide the Dents
Breaking

Scott Ian’s Jackson Guitar: Now in a Color That Might Actually Hide the Dents

Chord F. DiscordMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

Oh look, another guitar! 🙄 Apparently, Jackson, bless their corporate hearts, decided that what the world REALLY needed was ANOTHER…

“OC Punk: A Riveting Tale of Suburban Rebellion (or Just a Bunch of Bored Kids with Guitars)”
Breaking

“OC Punk: A Riveting Tale of Suburban Rebellion (or Just a Bunch of Bored Kids with Guitars)”

Chord F. DiscordMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 Finally, a book about Orange County punk? 🙄 Like we haven’t heard enough about suburban angst and three-chord…

Ryan Roxie, Probably-Never-Gonna-Be-As-Good-As-Alice-Cooper Guitarist, Releases Single That’s TOTALLY ‘Better Than You’ (Says Him)
Breaking

Ryan Roxie, Probably-Never-Gonna-Be-As-Good-As-Alice-Cooper Guitarist, Releases Single That’s TOTALLY ‘Better Than You’ (Says Him)

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

OMG! 😱🎸 Ryan Roxie, the guy who occasionally strums a guitar next to Alice Cooper, is back with a NEW…

Queens of the Stone Age: ‘Alive In the Catacombs’ – More Like ‘Barely Conscious In a Basement,’ Am I Right
Breaking

Queens of the Stone Age: ‘Alive In the Catacombs’ – More Like ‘Barely Conscious In a Basement,’ Am I Right

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, those lovable desert weirdos, are finally releasing that Catacombs thing everyone totally forgot about. Prepare…

Suzanne Vega’s Near-Death Experience (From Boredom, Probably) Almost Scuttled Festival
Breaking

Suzanne Vega’s Near-Death Experience (From Boredom, Probably) Almost Scuttled Festival

Chuck B. BallsyMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Suzanne Vega, bless her heart, almost canceled Glastonbury ’89 because of a STALKER! Apparently, someone wasn’t a fan of…

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for 🥕🎬🙄
Breaking

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for 🥕🎬🙄

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Oh, sweet lord, another washed-up hardcore dude trying to stay relevant. 🙄 Harley Flanagan, the human embodiment of a mid-life…

Lemmy’s Ghost Haunts Stoke-on-Trent: Bronze Abomination Erected
Breaking

Lemmy’s Ghost Haunts Stoke-on-Trent: Bronze Abomination Erected

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

On Friday, May 9, 2025, Lemmy Kilmister, the dude who made a career out of singing about speed and playing…

Wes Scantlin Promises New Album Will Make You Cry (Probably From Laughter)
Breaking

Wes Scantlin Promises New Album Will Make You Cry (Probably From Laughter)

Chord F. DiscordMay 11, 2025May 11, 2025

In a new interview with Mark Strigl, PUDDLE OF MUDD frontman Wes Scantlin, the only guy keeping the “Mud” afloat…

Oh GREAT, Amy Lee (of EVANESCENCE, duh) and HALSEY Team Up for Ballerina Movie Song No One Asked For
Breaking

Oh GREAT, Amy Lee (of EVANESCENCE, duh) and HALSEY Team Up for Ballerina Movie Song No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordMay 11, 2025May 11, 2025

OMG! 😱 Amy Lee from EVANESCENCE, yes, the “Bring Me to Life” band that your mom still listens to, has…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 100 101 102 … 107 Next

Latest posts

  • Alice Cooper Unveils Fall 2026 North American Concert Schedule
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump recommends Darline Graham for Senate seat
  • Legendary actor Sam Neill falls prey to mortality’s gameplay mechanic
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Lindsey Graham Backs Trump Call for Clarity Act to Counter China
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump Declares US Guardian of Hormuz Strait with 20% Cargo Fee

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}