Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: rock

Helmet’s Page Hamilton Thinks You’re a Moron If You Think “Betty” Is Their Best Album πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ™„
Breaking

Helmet’s Page Hamilton Thinks You’re a Moron If You Think “Betty” Is Their Best Album πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ™„

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

So, Page Hamilton, bless his heart πŸ™„, is STILL yapping about “Betty.” Apparently, some South American folks are gonna get…

Leif Edling Dangles Candlemass Reunion Carrot With Messiah, Then Snatches It Away Like a Troll With a God Complex 😈
Breaking

Leif Edling Dangles Candlemass Reunion Carrot With Messiah, Then Snatches It Away Like a Troll With a God Complex 😈

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

OMG! 😱 Leif Edling, the puppet master πŸͺ– behind CANDLEMASS, just dropped a bombshell πŸ’£: Messiah Marcolin is back for…

Bless his cotton socks, Def Leppard’s Rick Allen *still* hasn’t found the “Pour Some Sugar On Me” for his PTSD after some random dude’s epic fail in basic human decency πŸ™„ πŸ₯ πŸ™
Breaking

Bless his cotton socks, Def Leppard’s Rick Allen *still* hasn’t found the “Pour Some Sugar On Me” for his PTSD after some random dude’s epic fail in basic human decency πŸ™„ πŸ₯ πŸ™

Chord F. DiscordApril 21, 2025April 21, 2025

So, apparently, Rick Allen, the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard, is STILL whining about getting roughed up outside a Florida…

Sammy Hagar’s releasing a new song called “Encore, Thank You, Goodnight,” because apparently, he hasn’t said enough about Eddie Van Halen yet πŸ™„πŸŽ€πŸŽΈπŸ”₯.
Breaking

Sammy Hagar’s releasing a new song called “Encore, Thank You, Goodnight,” because apparently, he hasn’t said enough about Eddie Van Halen yet πŸ™„πŸŽ€πŸŽΈπŸ”₯.

Chord F. DiscordApril 21, 2025April 21, 2025

🚨🚨🚨 RED ALERT! The Red Rocker, Sammy Hagar, is BACK…again! πŸ™„ This time, he’s gracing us with a new single,…

Grandma Rocker Dusts Off His Dentures for a “New” Album πŸ€£πŸ’€ (Is it Naptime Yet?) πŸŽΈπŸ‘΄
Breaking

Grandma Rocker Dusts Off His Dentures for a “New” Album πŸ€£πŸ’€ (Is it Naptime Yet?) πŸŽΈπŸ‘΄

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 19, 2025April 19, 2025

The ageless wonder, Stevie Nicks, 76 (yes, you read that right, boomers!), graced the Pollstar Hall of Fame with her…

Liv Tyler’s OMG 🀯 Daddy-Daughter Reveal at Aerosmith Concert Will Make You Cringe πŸ˜‚ (Spoiler: It’s Steven Tyler! 🀘)
Breaking

Liv Tyler’s OMG 🀯 Daddy-Daughter Reveal at Aerosmith Concert Will Make You Cringe πŸ˜‚ (Spoiler: It’s Steven Tyler! 🀘)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 16, 2025April 17, 2025

So, little Liv Tyler, future elf princess and general ethereal being, was rocking out at an Aerosmith concert, blissfully unaware…

Ringo’s Boy Gets the Boot πŸ₯Ύ (Who Drummer Drama After Posh Gig! 🀣)
Breaking

Ringo’s Boy Gets the Boot πŸ₯Ύ (Who Drummer Drama After Posh Gig! 🀣)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 16, 2025April 16, 2025

Oh, the drama! Zak Starkey, Ringo Starr’s prodigal drumming son (and apparently Keith Moon’s godson – nepotism much? πŸ€”), has…

🍺 Springsteen’s New “Tracks II: The Lost Albums” Record: 83 Songs About Hammers, Metal, and Post-Shift Beers!
🏭 "I Don't Sleep on Bags of Money!" β€” Bruce Springsteen Drops 7 Albums with Factory Hits!
Music News

🍺 Springsteen’s New “Tracks II: The Lost Albums” Record: 83 Songs About Hammers, Metal, and Post-Shift Beers!

Chord F. DiscordApril 4, 2025April 4, 2025

Bruce Springsteen, the legendary rock musician and billionaire, is reminding the world of his roots. On June 27, he’s releasing…

🎸 British Band Sports Team Robbed at Gunpoint in Sunny California β€” Welcome to America!
πŸ”« Guitars, Guns, and Gas Stations: Sports Team’s American Nightmare Begins!
Music News

🎸 British Band Sports Team Robbed at Gunpoint in Sunny California β€” Welcome to America!

Chord F. DiscordDecember 4, 2024December 4, 2024

The six-piece London-based indie rock band Sports Team had a rude awakening to the American Dream just ten minutes into…

Sick New World 2025 Canceled Over Greed and Hidden Fees πŸ€˜πŸ’Έ
$5M for Metallica? The Ridiculous Demands That Killed Sick New World 2025 πŸ’€πŸ’°
Music News

Sick New World 2025 Canceled Over Greed and Hidden Fees πŸ€˜πŸ’Έ

Chord F. DiscordDecember 1, 2024December 3, 2024

In what can only be described as a tragicomic implosion of epic proportions, the 2025 edition of the Sick New…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 114 115 116 Next

Latest posts

  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Tony Iommi still making riffs because what else is he gonna do
  • Lollapalooza 2026 Sizzles with Jennie and Wolf Alice Sets
  • Phil Collins Near Death Scare in 2024 Due to Excessive Drinking

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.