Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: sale

CATTLE DECAPITATION to Subject Innocent Ears to ‘Death Atlas’ in 2025 Across the Continent
Live, Music News

CATTLE DECAPITATION to Subject Innocent Ears to ‘Death Atlas’ in 2025 Across the Continent

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Ah, yes, the enlightened eco-warriors of West Coast deathgrind, CATTLE DECAPITATION, have deigned to bless the unwashed masses of North…

‘Basic Instinct’ Is Back, Baby: Because Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas
Breaking, Movie News

‘Basic Instinct’ Is Back, Baby: Because Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas

FinnJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Get ready to have your childhood memories violated! Joe Eszterhas, the mastermind behind the original Basic Instinct, is back to…

Nine Inch Nails’ New “Tron” Soundtrack: Get Ready for Some Seriously Overproduced Synth Noises
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

Nine Inch Nails’ New “Tron” Soundtrack: Get Ready for Some Seriously Overproduced Synth Noises

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

“Tron: Ares (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack),” featuring all original music by NINE INCH NAILS (because who else would Disney hire?…

Chris Barnes Claims New SIX FEET UNDER Album Will Be Good (Press X to Doubt)
Breaking, Music News

Chris Barnes Claims New SIX FEET UNDER Album Will Be Good (Press X to Doubt)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Chris Barnes, the vocal… well, he vocalizes for those death metal dinosaurs SIX FEET…

DEMON HUNTER Announces Fall 2025 U.S Tour: Prepare for a Descent into Mediocrity With WAR OF AGES, CONVICTIONS, and CULTIST
Live, Music News

DEMON HUNTER Announces Fall 2025 U.S Tour: Prepare for a Descent into Mediocrity With WAR OF AGES, CONVICTIONS, and CULTIST

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

DEMON HUNTER, those paragons of… something, are bravely embarking on a U.S. tour this late summer/early fall. Prepare yourselves (or…

Why Retro Gaming Still Clings to Life in the Year 2024
Breaking, Games News

Why Retro Gaming Still Clings to Life in the Year 2024

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Okay, boomer, listen up! 👴 Apparently, some 26.7 million of you are still clinging to your ancient Nintendo Entertainment Systems,…

UGREEN’s MagFlow: Because Your Qi Charger Just Wasn’t Boujee Enough
Breaking

UGREEN’s MagFlow: Because Your Qi Charger Just Wasn’t Boujee Enough

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

UGREEN, bless their cotton socks🧦, has proudly announced that their MagFlow Magnetic Power Bank is the WORLD’S FIRST to get…

The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now
Live, Music News

The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Satan, THE CULT, those purveyors of slightly-above-average rock anthems for the tragically unhip, are back! 🎉 They’re…

“Bestest” Game Deals (You Won’t Believe!) and How We Get Rich Off Your Addiction
Breaking, Games News

“Bestest” Game Deals (You Won’t Believe!) and How We Get Rich Off Your Addiction

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Ah, yes, the glorious world of digital game deals, where your dreams of becoming a digital hoarder come true! 🤑…

Baroness Announces ‘Red & Blue Tour – Part II: Electric Boogaloo’
Live, Music News

Baroness Announces ‘Red & Blue Tour – Part II: Electric Boogaloo’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

So, BARONESS, bless their cotton socks, just finished a ‘sold-out’ (sure, Jan 🙄) East Coast tour where they played their…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 18 19 20 … 23 Next

Latest posts

  • Rep Tiffany’s Plane Takes Unplanned Swim in Wisconsin Lake
  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.