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Tag: Saw

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)
Breaking, Music News

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

OPETH is back, and they’ve got a new video for you, you lucky, lucky degenerates. 🤘 If you’re looking for…

Unauthorized Wayne Static Doc Funded by Matt Zane Because Dead Guys Can’t Sue
Breaking, Music News

Unauthorized Wayne Static Doc Funded by Matt Zane Because Dead Guys Can’t Sue

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Well, well, well, grab your popcorn and your hazmat suits, because the unauthorized documentary drama of the decade is back…

Trump Chickens Out of Invading Greenland Because He Finally Looked at a Map
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Chickens Out of Invading Greenland Because He Finally Looked at a Map

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

President Donald J. Trump, in a majestic display of sheer dominance and strategic genius, announces that he will graciously refrain…

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares
Breaking, Movie News

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares

FinnJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🚨 THE RAZZIE NOMINEES ARE HERE! 🚨 Cinephiles, grab your barf bags and prepare for a cinematic journey so terrible,…

The OG Slipknot Vocalist Anders Colsefni Is Going To Iowa To Scream About Eating Flesh And Murdering People For Fun, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

The OG Slipknot Vocalist Anders Colsefni Is Going To Iowa To Scream About Eating Flesh And Murdering People For Fun, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🎉 BREAKING NEWS: The Ghost of Slipknot Past is Back, and He’s Brought a Crowzade! 🎉 Let the 666 Days…

Bodø/Glimt Remind Pep Who’s Boss in a Champions League Night That No One Saw Coming
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bodø/Glimt Remind Pep Who’s Boss in a Champions League Night That No One Saw Coming

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Deep State Strikes Again: How Norwegian Soccer Upset Was Clearly a Globalist Plot Against American Greatness Folks, can you believe…

Heel – Watch Stephen Graham and Andrea Riseborough in a twisted thriller that’s clearly just *The Wire* meets *The Twilight Zone* but darker because why not
Breaking, Movie News

Heel – Watch Stephen Graham and Andrea Riseborough in a twisted thriller that’s clearly just *The Wire* meets *The Twilight Zone* but darker because why not

FinnJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Oh, look! Another “twisted thriller” where a troubled youth gets kidnapped by a family who’s definitely auditioning for the world’s…

City Of La Vergne Officially Dedicates A Day To Megadeth Because Everyone Knows Rust In Peace Is The Only True Form Of Government
Breaking, Music News

City Of La Vergne Officially Dedicates A Day To Megadeth Because Everyone Knows Rust In Peace Is The Only True Form Of Government

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

🚨BREAKING: The City of La Vergne, Tennessee has officially declared January 17, 2026, as “Megadeth Day,” because nothing screams “thrash…

Kreator’s Mille Petrozza Says The World Needs More Than Just Sad Songs To Get Through The Day, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

Kreator’s Mille Petrozza Says The World Needs More Than Just Sad Songs To Get Through The Day, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, German thrash metal titans KREATOR have decided to…

WILLIAM DUVALL Cries Over Metal Legends Dying: “Please Don’t Die, You Leave a Big Void in My Spotify Playlist”
Breaking, Music News

WILLIAM DUVALL Cries Over Metal Legends Dying: “Please Don’t Die, You Leave a Big Void in My Spotify Playlist”

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

So, William DuVall from Alice in Chains basically looked at the obituary section for 2025, saw Ozzy, Ace Frehley, and…

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