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Tag: science

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Move over, history books and science textbooks—there’s a new educational powerhouse in town, and it’s screaming at you in double-blast-beat…

MAX CAVALERA: ‘I Love The Fact That I Introduced Brazilian Culture To Americans And Europeans’ Through My Music… And Now They Think I’m A Samba Ambassador
Breaking, Music News

MAX CAVALERA: ‘I Love The Fact That I Introduced Brazilian Culture To Americans And Europeans’ Through My Music… And Now They Think I’m A Samba Ambassador

Chord F. DiscordDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Max Cavalera Claims To Be The Only Good Thing To Come Out Of Brazil (Besides Caipirinhas And Soccer…

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help
Breaking, Games News

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

Imagine a world where the only thing standing between you and total existential dread is a chainsaw, a chainsaw-wielding mutant,…

Disney Gives OpenAI the Keys to Its Character Closet in a Billion-Dollar Handoff
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Gives OpenAI the Keys to Its Character Closet in a Billion-Dollar Handoff

FinnDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Hold onto your mouse ears, folks — Disney just sold its soul to the AI devil for a measly $1…

Events

How to Prove You Served Without Actually Marching in the Parade

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 10, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Scientists Discover Veterans Have Feelings Too! 🍁 Join Dr. Alyson Mahar on November 18th at 12pm EST via…

IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed
Breaking, Movie News

IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed

FinnDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

BREAKING: Humans Still Obsessed With Superheroes, IMDb Reports (Shocking Absolutely No One) 😱 Oh, joy! The fine folks at IMDb—who…

Netflix’s Epic Fail: Will a Tiny Question Nuke the Warner Bros Deal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Netflix’s Epic Fail: Will a Tiny Question Nuke the Warner Bros Deal

Big ElephantDecember 6, 2025December 6, 2025

Netflix, the bastion of woke programming and leftist indoctrination, wants to buy Warner Bros. and HBO for a measly $72…

CNN Worries Some Dude Might Get a Tummy Ache Because of *Checks Notes* Science
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Worries Some Dude Might Get a Tummy Ache Because of *Checks Notes* Science

Big ElephantDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Oh, no! Not another snowflake worried about a disease that’s practically gone! This John Ellis, bless his delicate heart, is…

James Cameron Horrified AI Might Steal His Job Directing Avatars
Breaking, Movie News

James Cameron Horrified AI Might Steal His Job Directing Avatars

FinnDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

So, apparently, James Cameron, the guy who brought you such cinematic masterpieces as blue cat people and the unsinkable Molly…

5 things you should pretend to care about today: Some guy named Mamdani, ‘Seditious behavior’ (yawn), Autism and vaccines (eye roll), a beauty pageant, and something happening in Gaza
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things you should pretend to care about today: Some guy named Mamdani, ‘Seditious behavior’ (yawn), Autism and vaccines (eye roll), a beauty pageant, and something happening in Gaza

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Folks, let’s cut through the fake news fog! The liberal media’s trying to distract you from the REAL issues, like…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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