Kristen Stewart’s The Chronology of Water Gets a New Trailer and It’s Still Not as Wet as Your Tears
🚨BREAKING: Kristen Stewart Ditches Vampires, Becomes Pretentious Auteur in Her Directorial Debut: AKA, How to Make Swimming Look Like a…
Tag: Scream
Aldis Hodge Back in Action: Cross Season 2 Promises More Crime Solving Than Your Ex Has Excuses
🚨 BREAKING: Prime Video Announces Season 2 of *Cross* — Because Apparently We All Need More Nightmares About Billionaires Getting…
Discord Secretly Files For IPO Because Nothing Says ‘We Hate Our Users’ Like Going Public
🚨 BREAKING: Discord Finally Decides to Monetize Your Existence – IPO Filing Reportedly Drops While You Argue About Cat Pics…
Workshop Teaches Employees How to Avoid Getting Fired for Being Horny
🚨 ATTENTION: HPMA members only! Yes, you! Not your cat, not your neighbor Steve! 🚨 📅 Mark your calendars: Thursday…
BILLY GIBBONS Reveals ZZ TOP Almost Sold Their Souls for a Million Bucks and a Razor
🚨 BREAKING: Gillette Offers ZZ TOP $1 Million EACH to Shave Beards, Billy Gibbons Says “No Thanks, We Like Looking…
They Will Kill You – Zazie Beetz Takes on a Demon Cult and Probably Ruins Their Group Chat
🚨 BREAKING: Local Woman Discovers That Joining a Cult Is NOT Covered by Her Gym Membership 🚨 😱💸 In a…
Nita Strauss: The Melodic Death Metal Workout Queen Who Can’t Curl a Bicep Without Soilwork and At the Gates
When Nita Strauss Isn’t Shredding Guitars, She’s Shredding… Her Own Excuses (And Occasionally Her Soul on the Treadmill) 🎸🏋️♀️ In…
Code Vein II Preview – A Stylish Soulslike That Leans Fully Into Its Anime Excess
Move over, Dark Souls, there’s a new vampire in town, and it’s here to steal your heart—literally. 🧛♂️💔 Code Vein…
The Making of Stranger Things 5 Doc Trailer Shows All The Writing Stress
Netflix just released the first trailer for the Stranger Things Season 5 BTS documentary, releasing on January 12th. Get ready…
SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s DARON MALAKIAN: How I Accidentally Became METALLICA’s Backup Guitarist for Two Nights in 2000
When a 22-Year-Old in Lakers Sweats Accidentally Became Metal God for a Night: The Daron Malakian Origin Story 🤘😂 Once…