Sam Raimi directs movies with the urgency of a sloth meditating 🐢. In the past 15 years, he’s blessed us with three whole films: A Wizard of Oz prequel nobody asked for (Oz the Great and Powerful), that Doctor Strange sequel Marvel definitely didn’t micromanage (Multiverse of Meh-ness), and a 2026 film titled Send Help — which we assume is Raimi’s cry for rescue from ever making another studio-mandated CGI snoozefest 🆘. With a blistering 16 films across 40 years, his productivity rivals a glacier in a marathon. 🥶
But hey, quality over quantity! Or so Raimi stans scream while cosplaying as Bruce Campbell’s chin 🧔. His filmography swings harder than Peter Parker’s mood swings — from horror gems that invented “chainsaw juggling” to superhero flicks where Tobey Maguire ugly-cries enough to fill Lake Michigan 💧. He’s dabbled in sports (For Love of the Game… more like For Love of Watching Paint Dry), crime (A Simple Plan… to steal your patience), and even Westerns (The Quick and the Dead… which was neither). And yes, sometimes he directs while strapping cameras to goats 🐐👹. #MethodFilmmaking.
Below, I’ve valiantly ranked Raimi’s films with the precision of a man who definitely didn’t just binge them all while mainlining Amazon energy drinks 🥤💥. Will Spider-Man 3’s emo dance traumatize you into first place? Does Crimewave deserve its eternal shame? Do I regret my life choices? Let’s dive in — and try not to summon Deadites while we’re at it. 🙃🔪
Every Sam Raimi Movie, Ranked By Someone Who’s Probably Wrong 🔥
- Crimewave (1985)
Sam’s “comedy” where two dudes try to stop a salesman-turned-killer. The real crime? The script. Co-written by the Coen brothers during a caffeine crash, probably. Raimi later pretended this was a “learning experience.” We know the truth: 90 minutes of Bruce Campbell screaming in a too-small tux. 🎩💀 Not even chainsaws could save this. - Spider-Man 3 (2007)
The Emo Messiah origin story 🙌. Sandman cries sand. Venom whines about… something. Peter Parker discovers the power of fringe and jazz clubs. The real villain? Executive meddling. Still, it birthed a thousand memes. 🕷️💇♂️🎻 Tobey’s hair alone deserves an Oscar. - The Quick and the Dead (1995)
A Western where everyone performs Shakespeare in the desert 🎭🤠. Gene Hackman chews scenery. Leo DiCaprio looks confused. Sharon Stone dueled studio execs for Raimi to direct, which explains nothing. Fun fact: The gunfights are less intense than Raimi’s fight to keep his signature zooms. 🔫🎥 - For Love of the Game (1999)
A baseball romance nobody demanded 🤢. Kevin Costner pitches, monologues, and stares wistfully. Raimi tried to make sports meaningful. Failed. If this were streaming, you’d scroll past while yelling, “WHERE’S THE CHAINSAW, SAM?” ⚾💤 - Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)
Disney threw money at Raimi & said “Make it sparkle!” ✨ He did, sorta. James Franco smirks through green screens, Michelle Williams acts confused, and Mila Kunis transforms into a green rage monster (relatable). Essentially Wizard of Oz fanfiction — but with more questionable CGI monkeys. 🐒💸 - Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
A.K.A. Raimi’s Greatest Hits But PG-13. Zombie Strange! Evil books! Bruce Campbell cameo! Sadly diluted by Marvel’s “make it quip-ier” mandate. Still, we got a musical note battle & Wanda murdering everyone. A+ for chaos. 🌌🔮 Benedict Cumberbatch’s cheekbones deserved a solo film. - The Gift (2000)
A psychic thriller starring Cate Blanchett and the eerie silence of Georgia. Surprisingly tense! Raimi restrained his inner goblin and delivered actual suspense… until a swamp finale that screams “CLASSIC SAM.” Better than most Marvel films. 🤫🌲 - Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Peak Raimi-Parker pain! 🧠🦑🌉 Doc Ock’s arms have more personality than MCU villains. Tobey cries. Kirsten Dunst sings. Trains explode. It’s perfect — minus that weird “rainmaker” subplot. Still, Alfred Molina carrying eight Oscar-worthy performances. 🥇 - A Simple Plan (1998)
Proof Raimi can do “serious” — if by “serious” you mean stealing corpse money while snow falls and everyone dies. Darker than Aunt May’s basement. Billy Bob Thornton’s teeth deserved a Best Supporting nom. ❄️💀 No chainsaws. 0/10 - Darkman (1990)
Raimi’s Frankenstein-meets-Batman-meets-Liam Neeson’s rage 💥. A scarred scientist fights gangsters with disguises & toy helicopters. Peak chaotic creativity. Also, the reason rubber chickens belong in action scenes. 🍗🦸♂️ - Army of Darkness (1992)
Time travel! Medieval battles! Bruce Campbell yelling “Shop Smart” at skeletons. 🤖🛒 Raimi said “plot coherence is overrated” and gave us a shotgun-wielding Ash fighting his own hand. Pure cheese. Pure genius. Groovy. 👑 - Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Raimi’s glorious return to horror — with cursed buttons, talking goats, and a CGI ferret 🤢. Alison Lohman gets tormented by an old lady’s dentures. High camp, higher gross-outs. The parking lot fight scene? Art. 🚗👵 Deserved an Oscar for “Best Use of Nose Bleeds.” - Evil Dead II (1987)
The ultimate horror-comedy 🪓🩸. Ash fights his own hand, a laughing deer head, and tree roots. Raimi turned slapstick into high art. Bonus points for Bruce Campbell’s chin defying physics. Still the blueprint for “hilarious carnage.” 🧟♂️😂 - Spider-Man (2002)
Yes, nostalgia goggles glued on 🕸️❤️. But this revolutionized superhero films: organic web shooters, upside-down kisses, Willem Dafoe’s psychotic grin. Raimi balanced heart, humor, and cheesy Green Goblin armor. Uncle Ben’s death? Still the must-see TV. 🚙💥 Also invented Tobey Maguire’s tear ducts.
HONORABLE MENTION: Multiverse of Madness (AGAIN)
Just in case you forgot it existed — much like Marvel’s scriptwriters forgot to give Sam full creative control 🌈. Still, we got zombie Strange strangling someone with magical音符. Worth it? Sure, Jan.
VERDICT: Sam Raimi is either a genius or a madman who thinks zooming into crying actors is profound. Let’s argue in the comments! 🔥💬
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
