Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Jackal Research Division
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Sequel

Happy Gilmore 2: Is This Real Life or Just a Bad Dream? (2025 Adam Sandler Flick)
Breaking

Happy Gilmore 2: Is This Real Life or Just a Bad Dream? (2025 Adam Sandler Flick)

FinnJune 1, 2025June 1, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful crap, they’re actually making a “Happy Gilmore 2.” 🙄 After 30 years of Adam Sandler’s cinematic genius…

Netflix Tudum: Because Your Couch Deserves More Companions (and Maybe a Pizza Stain or Two)
Breaking

Netflix Tudum: Because Your Couch Deserves More Companions (and Maybe a Pizza Stain or Two)

FinnJune 1, 2025June 1, 2025

Oh, Netflix, you haven’t canceled enough shows lately? Apparently, they held some “Tudum” event – sounds like a toddler’s attempt…

Kojima’s Back: Prepare for More Packages and Existential Dread at Death Stranding 2’s “Game Premiere” (Whatever That Is)
Breaking

Kojima’s Back: Prepare for More Packages and Existential Dread at Death Stranding 2’s “Game Premiere” (Whatever That Is)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

Two days after the snooze-fest that is the Summer Game Fest Showcase, Kojima, in his infinite wisdom (or maybe just…

OMG, Is Hunter Schafer About To Bless (Ruin?) The New Zelda Movie?
Breaking

OMG, Is Hunter Schafer About To Bless (Ruin?) The New Zelda Movie?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Apparently, Hollywood is officially out of ideas, folks! They’re “considering” Hunter Schafer for Princess Zelda in the upcoming…

“Sinners” Movie: Clarksdale, Mississippi’s 15 Minutes of Fame (and Free Popcorn)
Breaking

“Sinners” Movie: Clarksdale, Mississippi’s 15 Minutes of Fame (and Free Popcorn)

FinnMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

So, like, the Clarksdale Civic Auditorium was totally, utterly, and completely PACKED, okay? 🙄 You wouldn’t BELIEVE the sheer number…

Crash Bandicoot Flick? Beg Xbox, Says The Last Of Us Overlord
Breaking

Crash Bandicoot Flick? Beg Xbox, Says The Last Of Us Overlord

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

Oh, sweet irony! 🤣 Neil Druckmann, the guy who brought us the gritty, emotionally-scarring masterpiece that is The Last of…

Critics Hated This 2021 Action Flick, But Normies Adored It & A Sequel is Coming to Ruin the Party Later This Year
Breaking

Critics Hated This 2021 Action Flick, But Normies Adored It & A Sequel is Coming to Ruin the Party Later This Year

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

Mortal Kombat, or as I like to call it, “Flop Kombat,” caused such a disparity between audiences and critics that…

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
Breaking

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Dear, oh dear, are we seriously calling this the *Final Destination* summer? 🙄 Like, hasn’t death been trendy since, like,…

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025
Breaking

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Regal’s Summer Movie Express (SMX) is BACK for 2025, baby! 🎉 Get ready to shell out a whopping $1 (yes,…

WHITECHAPEL Bravely Announces They’re Still Playing Music in 2025, Will Subject U.S. to ‘Hymns In Dissonance’ in Its Entirety
Breaking

WHITECHAPEL Bravely Announces They’re Still Playing Music in 2025, Will Subject U.S. to ‘Hymns In Dissonance’ in Its Entirety

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2025May 27, 2025

Alright, metalheads (and those who accidentally clicked on this link thinking it was a recipe for vegan cupcakes 🧁), buckle…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 19 20 21 Next

Latest posts

  • Why Every Band Announces A Farewell Tour And Never Leaves
  • Wilson Unveils Tennis Balls With Even More Smell
  • Rick Astley Still Not Retired Apparently
  • Duran Duran’s umpteenth farewell gift, Free To Love remixed to death apparently
  • More Unnecessary Sequels Abound Resonance Plague Tale Is Back

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}