Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: sex

Netflix Dares to Defile Beloved Assassin’s Creed Lore with New “Original” Adaptation
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Netflix Dares to Defile Beloved Assassin’s Creed Lore with New “Original” Adaptation

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof, depending on how you feel about their recent… *choices* 🙄), has decided…

Cuomo’s Alleged Misdeeds: Now Sponsored by the Taxpayers of New York
Elephant Reads CNN

Cuomo’s Alleged Misdeeds: Now Sponsored by the Taxpayers of New York

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Another day, another Democrat scandal! It seems former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, a darling of the liberal elite, can’t…

Pam Bondi’s Epic Fail: Epstein File Fiasco a Comedy of Errors
Elephant Reads CNN

Pam Bondi’s Epic Fail: Epstein File Fiasco a Comedy of Errors

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump! They whine that the Trump…

Riley Gaines Triumphs, Triggering Libs With Epic Wins Against Transgender Swimmer Lia Thomas
Elephant Reads CNN

Riley Gaines Triumphs, Triggering Libs With Epic Wins Against Transgender Swimmer Lia Thomas

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Folks, can you believe the liberal media is STILL whining about Lia Thomas? They’re painting Riley Gaines as some kind…

Diddy Do-Right (Or Did He Do Wrong?) A Hilarious Look at How the Prosecution Totally Fumbled the Bag
Elephant Reads CNN

Diddy Do-Right (Or Did He Do Wrong?) A Hilarious Look at How the Prosecution Totally Fumbled the Bag

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for justice against the Woke Mob! Diddy, or as I like to call him, “Dodgy Diddy,”…

Leaked: John Roberts’ Guide to Supreme Court Domination (As Told By CNN)
Elephant Reads CNN

Leaked: John Roberts’ Guide to Supreme Court Domination (As Told By CNN)

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine our glorious President Trump even in his second term! This time, they’re whining about…

Wake Up Sheeple: Weed, Trump’s Tantrum, Bezos’s Boating Accident, ‘Murica Day, and Geriatric Rock Stars
Elephant Reads CNN

Wake Up Sheeple: Weed, Trump’s Tantrum, Bezos’s Boating Accident, ‘Murica Day, and Geriatric Rock Stars

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Oasis is reuniting! After 15 years, those socialist Brit-rockers are back to…

Diddy Do It? Lawyers Spill the Tea
Elephant Reads CNN

Diddy Do It? Lawyers Spill the Tea

Big ElephantJune 25, 2025June 25, 2025

Oh, the drama! Diddy’s in a pickle, accused of running a sex-trafficking ring like some kind of woke mafia boss.…

Dangerous heat waves, box office bounces back, extreme day trips: The Planet’s Still Burning, Hollywood’s Still Cashing In, and You’re Still Stuck in Traffic
Elephant Reads CNN

Dangerous heat waves, box office bounces back, extreme day trips: The Planet’s Still Burning, Hollywood’s Still Cashing In, and You’re Still Stuck in Traffic

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another dose of liberal lunacy from CNN! They’re at it again, folks, pushing their globalist agenda and trying…

Judge Says Gov’t Can’t Stop the Rainbow Passport Party
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Says Gov’t Can’t Stop the Rainbow Passport Party

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for the woke mob! A Biden-appointed judge, probably sipping a soy latte while wearing a “Resist”…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 10 11 12 13 Next

Latest posts

  • Execution team frets about IV mishap during Christa Pike’s lethal injection
  • GOP Tries Sinking Sherrod Brown With Unlikely New BFFs
  • Spin of the Day: Trump’s Education Department reduced investigations into campus discrimination and sexual assault. — 11% Mostly Reality
  • Billy Corgan Questions Kanye Wests Possible Borrowed Fame Tactics
  • GOP Voters Anxiously Await Trump’s Next Impulsive International Incident

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.