Cronos: Dawn Breaks, Switch 2 Shakes (and Probably Still Fakes)
Oh, sweet gamers, prepare yourselves for the most thrilling, groundbreaking, and totally-not-derivative experience of the decade! Cronos: The New Dawn,…
Tag: Switch 2
Mario Paint on Switch: Prepare to Unleash Your Inner Picasso (With a Mouse, Seriously?)
Oh, JOY! 🤩 The illustrious Nintendo Switch Online is gracing us, the unwashed masses, with… Mario Paint. Yes, you read…
Frostpunk 2: Now on Consoles, So Your Couch Can Judge Your Terrible City Planning This September
So, the perpetually freezing faction simulator, Frostpunk 2, is FINALLY crawling its way to consoles. Prepare to warm your thumbs…
Xbox Tries Not to Suck: The Outer Worlds 2 Price Plunge and Apology Tour
Oh, sweet gamers, gather ’round and feast your eyes on the latest saga of corporate greed and fanboy tears! 😅
OMG! FromSoftware’s Cooking Up Another Multiplatform Mystery Meat, Prepare for Elden Ring 2.0: Now With 100% More Rolling
OMG! 😱 FromSoftware, those sneaky geniuses, are apparently cooking up ANOTHER game! 🤫 Like, seriously, haven’t they heard of taking…
Donkey Kong Bananza: Prepare for a Barrel of Disappointments on the Switch 2
Another day, another distraction from the REAL issues! CNN, still pushing their globalist agenda with this “Donkey Kong Bananza” on…
Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls
Well, well, well, choombas. Looks like CD Projekt RED is back at it again with the 2.3 update for Cyberpunk…
EA Sports FC 26: Zlatan’s Face So Good, It Leaked Before the Trailer Even Breathed
EA has announced that Swedish demigod Zlatan Ibrahimović, the only human to ever bench press a planet, will be the…
Nintendo Panics: Desperate Measures to Keep You From Starving After Buying Our Games
Oh, sweet innocent gamers, gather ’round! Uncle Nintendo, bless his heart, is here to soothe your fragile wallets regarding the…
Nintendo Accidentally Reveals Switch 2 Sales Projections, Claims It Was Just a Typo, LOL
Oh, the Nintendo Switch 2, that little plastic box of dreams (and crushing debt for your parents). Apparently, it was…