Oh, honey, Square Enix just dropped the bomb 💣 – a full-blown remake of Dragon Quest 7! Yes, you heard that right! The game that takes approximately 3 business days to complete is getting a fresh coat of paint. It’s coming faster than your Amazon Prime order, right after the Dragon Quest I&II HD-2D Remake early next year. Prepare to have your social life completely obliterated!
And here’s where it gets interesting 🤔. Forget that HD-2D nonsense! We’re diving headfirst into a brand-new 3D style that’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before. It’s kinda-sorta-maybe like Dragon Quest XI but with a sprinkle of Bravely Default 2. Picture this: 3D characters prancing around in environments so realistic, you’ll swear you can smell the digital grass.🌿 Is it groundbreaking? Maybe not. Is it different? Absolutely!
The trailer gave us a peek at the shiny new visuals and some light exploration 🗺️, but don’t get your hopes up too high! We have no clue how deep this remake goes. Are we talking new story content? Or is it just the same old story with a facelift? Who knows! What we do know is that this bad boy will be available on the original Nintendo Switch. So, dust off that old console, folks! 🎮
For those of you who don’t know, Dragon Quest 7 originally graced the PlayStation way back in August 2000 in Japan, before finally making its way to the West in 2001. It’s basically the Tolstoy novel of video games. It’s a sweeping saga that spans an archipelago of islands 🏝️, each with its own little story that eventually culminates in a climactic ending. Clear your schedule because a single playthrough can take 100 hours, or more. 😴
But wait, there’s more! Dragon Quest 7 is also famous (or infamous) for its class system. You can mix and match your party members from over ten different classes, including Bard, Jester, Ranger, Paladin, and the almighty God Hand. 🤹 You can create the most overpowered or hilariously underpowered team imaginable. The choice is yours!
Believe it or not, this isn’t even the first time Dragon Quest 7 has been remade. A 3DS version, titled Dragon Quest 7: Fragments of the Forgotten Past, was released in Japan in 2013 and in America in 2016. It was a pretty faithful remake but added a bunch of quality-of-life tweaks and improvements. So, if you’re looking for a more “classic” experience, maybe check that one out instead. 😉
Dragon Quest 7 Reimagined drops on February 5 for PS5, Xbox Series X|S, Nintendo Switch, Nintendo Switch 2, and PC. Get ready to say goodbye to your friends, family, and any semblance of a productive life! 🤪
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
