Oh boy, Nintendo’s at it again!🎉 To celebrate 40 years of the same mustachioed guy jumping on turtles🐢, they dropped a Nintendo Direct so mind-blowing🤯, it’s like they’re trying to compensate for something… like the abysmal state of their online service.🎮💩 We’re talking a sequel to the *Super Mario Bros. Movie* (because one wasn’t enough torture 🤡) and a whole bunch of “new” games that are totally gonna reinvent the wheel… NOT! 🙄
Apparently, the sequel to the movie that critics loved and gamers tolerated is going to be “inspired” by Super Mario Galaxy. Because what screams originality more than rehashing old ideas? ♻️ And to really twist the knife🔪, both Super Mario Galaxy games are coming to the Nintendo Switch and the mythical Switch 2! 🦄🌈
Mark your calendars, folks! October 2, 2025, is the day we can relive our childhood… again! 👴👵 They’re even selling them as a dual pack! Physical media? In *this* economy? 💰🤯 And of course, you can buy them individually on the eShop, because who needs options? 🤷♀️
But wait, there’s more! 🛍️ Two brand-spanking-new amiibo of Mario and Rosalina are on the way! Because collecting plastic figurines is totally a worthwhile investment of your hard-earned cash. 💸 They’re not even dropping until April 2, 2026, so you have plenty of time to clear space on your already cluttered shelves. 🗄️
But wait, there’s *even* more! 🤯 If you thought that was enough, Nintendo had *three* other Mario-themed games to shove down our throats! 🤮
First up, get ready for *Mario Tennis Fever*! 🎾 With a whopping roster of over 30 characters (most of whom you’ll probably never use), and “new” elements (probably just gimmicks), it’s sure to be a “hit.” But the real kicker? A story mode where everyone turns into babies! 👶🍼 Because that’s *totally* what we wanted from a tennis game. It launches on February 12, 2026, for the Nintendo Switch 2, so you can experience it in glorious, slightly-better-than-the-original graphics. ✨
Oh, and remember Super Mario Bros. Wonder? Yeah, they’re giving it the Switch 2 treatment too! 🙄 With a new “co-op centric expansion” (because the original wasn’t co-op enough, apparently) called Meetup in Bellabel. Prepare for “enhanced” visuals and performance, which probably means it’ll *finally* run at a stable framerate. 🐌
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
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